Q: What did the two muffins say in the oven? A: OMG we are in an oven, "OMG a talking muffin"

How do you stop a baby from crawling circles? You nail it's other hand to the floor too

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being brutally murdered as you are watching your guts spilling out of your body

A black man sits down to have a legal conversation with his state appointed attorney for the first time being arrested. They lawyer advises him to tell him the truth of exactly what happened. He proceeds to do so and is provided with excellent legal advice.

If life throws you lemons, get under some shelter so you don't get pelted by flying fruit and worry about making lemonade later.

Hey I just met you, And this is crazy, I've got dementia, Hey I just met you.

What did the deaf man say to the blind man? Probably "Look out for that car," but since he has been deaf since the age of 7, his verbal skills are tenuous at best.

Why did the dinosaurs become extinct? Because they wanted to.

What happens when a chicken with a goat have sex? nothing.

Q: Why is Little Johnny in the hospital with a bullet wound and a broken arm? A: I shot him of his bike.

Q:What's worse than watching the show Jersey Shore? A:Nothing.

The verification for this post was debatable: "Which of these does not belong?" George Bush Barack Obama Bill Clinton Ronald Reagan Head of Cabbage Answers on a postcard please... [L]

A black man, Jew and a Mexican go camping. A bear wanders into their campsite, but upon seeing them runs away because it's afraid of humans.

Fred: Hey man where were you last night. Steve: Why don't yo ask yo mama.

Q: Why were minorities denied access to the bathroom? A: It was for employees only.

What did the little kid say to the stranger? Nothing. He was taught not to talk to strangers.

what do you call a black man in a cop car? a policeman

What is the difference between a circle and a cylinder? dunno

What's worst then a parking ticket? The plague

life is like a rapist. sometimes they're nice other times, they ram you in the ass.

Q: If I have 5 pencils, and you have 3 spoons, how many pancakes will stick to the ceiling? A: Purple, because aliens don't wear hats.

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know... I thought no one knew the answer to that question...

A grandma starts pinching her grandsons cheeks and saying who's a little cutie pie the baby begins to bleed cause his grandmas nails are peircing his skin

A guy walks into a bar and laughs. Later, a green, homosexual dinosaur dentist escorts him out to play a houdini banjo.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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