Two guys walked into a pub... and they totally redecorated it! It was brilliant.

What's the difference between jumping off of a 2 story building and a 20 story building? You're more likely to die from the latter.

Fat? Jesse Z

A man walks into a bar. The force of the impact causes serious head trauma and kills him within a matter of minutes.

Dear Jim, I have a problem with my Hymen... "Jim'll fix it for you..."

Guess what sucks! A Vaccume. Guess what blows! A Sucky Vaccume.

Q:why did the boy not have to walk his dog? A: because the dog and the rest of his family died in a terrible house fire while he was away at summer camp.

Your mama is so black, she contributes regularly to the NAACP and the United Negro College Fund. Her donations and volunteer work help greatly.

Why did the midget fall from a tall building? Because somebody pushed him.

Knock Knock. Who's there? Scott Scott who? Scott Henderson. Oh my god Scotty! I haven't seen you since highschool, please come in.

Roses are brown, violets are brown, someone keeps shitting in my garden

What did the man say when he saw his t.v. floating in the middle of the night? I must be seeing things. By logic, televisions don't float. My weary eyes must be playing tricks on me and I should probably go back to sleep.

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

How many light bulbs does it take to garner an unnecessarily large crowd of a single ethnic group of people working together to simultaneously replace said light bulbs and uphold their cultural stereotypes? What the hell's a light bulb? I'm a culturally illiterate Amish man.

What did the cat say to the other cat? Meow

How do you kill a priest? Shoot him in the forehead.

What happened to the boy with cancer? He died

A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The Mexican; the black man had too much alcohol and the Mexican was the designated driver.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 brutally raped and murdered 32.

Why did the bunny hit the drum? It didn't because it did not have the mental capacity or physical capabilities to do so

Why did the man hit the little boy? His brakes failed.

What do you do to vegetables to make them taste good? Nothing. They are still people, and they can't speak up for themselves.

What makes Amish bread different than regular bread? It's made by Amish people

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...