Q:How do you sleep with Paris Hilton? A:You don't. she got herpes.

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whatis worse then tripping over and landing head first in dog shit No alot

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How many beavers does it take to paint a house blue? 0, beavers cant paint.

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What do a baby and a slinky have in common? They both bring a smile to your face when you push then down a flight of stairs.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Interrupter. Interrupter who? Interrupter Jones.

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Why was the dentist sent to jail? Because he committed a crime.

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What do you call cheese that's mine? My cheese

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what would you watch during a scary movie? anything you want.

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what's worse then the holocaust finding a worm in your apple.

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Why did the black man vote for Obama in the presidential election? Every person over the age of 21 has an open opinion to vote for the person of their choice to run as president for a 4-year term.

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Why did the magician die when he tried to escape from the handcuffs underwater? Because he drowned and failed his magic trick.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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What's better than winning a gold medal at the paralympics? Winning two gold medals.

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"You just went and made a new dinosaur?" "And due to its well-developed core muscles the staff behind Jurassic World has called it - 'ABDOMINUS PEX'." "That's a stupid name."

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Why doesn't Austin have sex? Because when his wife gets hot he puts dirt on her and hits her with a shovel

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. Fortunately, the bra was on display in a clothing store and was not actually being worn at the time.

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? I don't know what they said, but one muffin, had a knife.

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Why was the doctor unable to perform his surgery properly? Because he forgot his scalpel

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why are anti jokes so funny? cuz u pobably just laughed at this one.

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Why do dinosaurs have no friends? Because they are dead

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A fish didn't walk into a bar, because fish cannot walk.

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What kind of pizza did the world trade center order? Two cheese pizzas.

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why was 6 afraid of 7? Because ever since 3 died, 7 had changed. He had turned aggressive and randomly snapped and hit out at some of the other numbers for no apparent reason.

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what looks, smells, and sounds like red paint? blue paint, I lied about it being red

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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