Schizophrenia will affect over 1.5 million people this year. At least, thats what my flying, albino pet rhinoceros told me.

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Whats the difference between Qantas and Malaysia Airlines? Qantas only looses money.

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If u give brandon a stick he will most likely poke u

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Rocky was chasing him

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An elephant walks into a bar. Several people are trampled.

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Whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there. Just kidding because today brought terminal cancer.

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What's worse that getting raped by a frog? That would never occur, as frogs do not have genitalia to commit rape.

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A man went to his doctor and said, "Doctor, every time I hit my hand with a hammer, it hurts!" Then both him and his doctor died; so it didn't matter.

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Roses are red,violets are blue, i love the colour red and green but its a pitty because im not so keen.

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What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? They're all gone!

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How do you save stop your soulmate from dying of cancer? Shoot them on the head.

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2 guys at a funeral. "did you know the girl?" asks one of the guys. "No" replies the other. "Me neither."

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Q:If quizes are, "guizicles," then what are tests? A:Who calls quizes, "quizicles?"

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What do you call a person with no arms or legs? I don't know, that's why I asked you.

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A man is walking down the beach and he spots an antique looking lamp in the sand, he picks it up and rubs it. Nothing happens and the man begins to cry realizing that his life is so dismal and pathetic he was ready to believe he had found a magic lamp. He proceeds to run into the water and bash himself senseless with a large rock until he passes out and drowns.

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Knock knock. "Whose there?" "Dave" Oh alright Dave, two seconds I have got to unlock the door~looks for and finds keys and unlocks door~ Hello Dave, sorry mate not been out yet so not been out, come in.........

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What should you do if you have a 10 inch penis? Subtly tell the world via an anti-joke

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How do you confuse an English Professor? Light your pants on fire and flop around like a fish.

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Q: Whats white and fluffy? A: White fluff

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knock knock "whos there ?" "the police , your husband has died" "ok"

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knock knock... who's there? uninterrupted cow uninterrupted cow who?? exactly....

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What is funny? Your football official having a heart attack

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This guy gets on a plane and leaves he takes a bite of a green Apple and says to sower then he takes a bite out of a red Apple and says to sweet so he takes a bite of a gernade and says to crunchy so the plane lands and he walks past a little boy crying and says little boy why are you crying because a green Apple came down and hit my dog in the head so he's walking along and sees a nether boy crying and says little boy why are you crying cause a red Apple came down and hit me on the head so he's walking along abd sees a little girl laughing little girl he says why are you laughing cause I farted and the building be hind me bluw up lol ????

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool? An ambulance.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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