When life hands you lemons...you should probably get yourself checked out because life is an abstract idea...

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How was the copper wire invented? 2 Jews pulling on the same penny!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the man say to his friend? Hello.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the depressed man jump off the bridge? Because bungee jumping is a great activity to relieve stress.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A vulture gets on a transatlantic flight with a dead animal in each claw. The flight attendant stops him, and says "I'm sorry, sir, only one piece of carrion per passenger allowed"

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's blue, orange, and silver all over? Nothing. That's a ridiculous combination of colors.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the vibrator say to the condom? Watch, I'll get laid before you do!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

knock knock who's there? banana well that's an odd name. banana then began to break down in tears because his parents were constant drug abusers and gave him that name while they were high

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Knock knock Who's there? Doctor Doctor who? Doctor Adams. You called me about your father's stroke.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why wasn't the boy at school? Obviously it was the weekend.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Mom now that I am fourteen can I get a bra now? No Harold!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did Mike Tyson say he would eat his children? Thats mean! friendly r*pist neighbourhood Moral Man: Why not just vi0late them REALLY REALLY FUCKlNG HARD! Its a Win/Win/Win/Sore ass situation.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why was the man arrested? He assaulted and raped an elderly woman at the local Walmart. He then proceeded to hijack the poor woman's Scooter and lead police on a 4 mile long car chase.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

a man rides on his horse to rohde island and back. he rode on Friday and returned on Friday. damn, that's one fat horse

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I forgot the rest, Don't laugh at me...

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What is the difference between a blond and a mummy? A blond has a brain.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What day is it? Asked the man with a gun who dislikes music. Friday. Mostly because yesterday was thursday and tomorrow is Saturday. Sunday comes afterwards also. The man says "oh. I thought it was Tuesday."

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Two guys walked into a pub... and they totally redecorated it! It was brilliant.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the straw say to the other straw? We are both straws just kidding they cant talk

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the retarded man fail his math test? He didn't study.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you call a 2 storied house ? A dolphin! :D

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's worse than leaving the maternity ward with the wrong child? Being a parent.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q: Why was the old man sad? A: Because he has a quarter super glued to the bottom of his foot

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops