Roses are red Violets are blue I am a gardener

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the Asian man open up a Sushi restaurant? Because he had a fetish for cumming in sushi and giving it to strangers.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A guy walks into a bar carrying an octopus under his arm. The bartender asks him, "say, buddy, what's with the octopus?" and the man replies, "this is the most intelligent octopus in the world. In fact, I bet you $100 that it can play any instrument you give it." The bartender snickers at the other patrons, and puts $100 on the bar. He motions the man over to the piano by the wall. The man puts the octopus on the piano, but nothing happens. The octopus is dead, because it's been out of the water for a while. The bartender looks at the man sadly, as two psychiatric orderlies from the local mental hospital take the visitor away to the looney bin, after another patron called the police. The bartender never gets his $100, and now he has to clean up the godawful mess on his piano.?

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why was the little boy sad? Both of his parents died in a tragic car accident.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Jehovas Witnesses: Summer vacation edition reality show: BItch: Do you know Jesus? Guy: Goddammit you A*Beep*SSHOLES again! I keep telling you all this is m0thertrucking Spain, I know like 500 Jesus`s living in this town alone! *slams door* Moral: Everybody knows at least something about the goddamn Jesus! Ill try asking "Is he the guy that lives downstairs?" Next time and see what happens.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Your adopted

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A white man a black man a french man and a mexican are on a sinking ship. The French man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of begets over board. The Black man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of red hot cheetos overboard The Mexican man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of Tacos over board. And then the White man says "we have too many of these" and throws the Mexican man overboard

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, as asks the man running the stand, "Hey, got any grapes?" The man suffers a heart attack from the shock of a talking duck

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did one cannibal say to the other cannibal? Nothing, because he was eating him.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

your so vein that doctors find you really helpful when giving you injections

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Chuck Norris farted and... several people looked around uncomfortably, not knowing how to react to the embarrassing situation.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the man wear a mask He had low self-esteem, and was ashamed of his facial appearance

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What is your name? My name is Jeff

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What kind of shots does John take at night? Insulin, because he's a diabetic.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

12 in general

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the chicken cross the road? It had gotten out of its coop.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q: Why did Jimmy not have balls? A: A terrible, terrible sand paper accident.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you call a german soldier? A Nazi

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why was the black man lynched? Because he was found by angry racists in the 1930's.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the black man say when he jumped in the pool? The water's nice, you should join me.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's black and at the top of a burning building? A paraplegic

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? Nothing his parents died in a tragic car accident the night before

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's wore then finding a worm in your apple? Being the only person to survive a plane crash over Alaska, then having to eat your family in order to stay alive waiting for help to come.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

EVERYONE, CREATE LOVE NOT WAR.. Between Josh and Dylan... WILD.. PASSIONATE.. LOVE!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops