When the going gets tough... Commit suicide.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was hit by a fridge.

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Okay so there was a turtle, a pig, and a donkey. They were out fishing when suddenly they spot a man in boat. The man said he hasn't eaten in 5 days and he is very hungry. He looked at the turtle and said "no, too much shell." The turtle was happy and left. He looked at the pig and said "no, too much fat." The pig ran away and was very happy. He looked at the donkey and said "I think I'll have donkey today." The donkey ran away because he was scared. The man died from hunger.

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What did the tractor say to the farmer? Nothing, tractors don't talk

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Whats the difference between a baby and a trampoline? I take off my shoes to step on trampolines.

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Your mamas so fat, she was self-conscious about her weight and became an antisocial vegetable.

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I like my coffee like my women. Without a penis. -Rivrawr

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Have you heard the one about the fat woman and the dead baby? The woman was actually pregnant, not fat, and just had a miscarriage.

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What did Zeus say to Hades? Nothing. Both are mythological beings created by the Greek civilization to explain why many things in the world happened, mostly because of a lack of modern science.

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Why did the woman eat her sandwich. She was hungry.

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So a blond, a brunette, a ninja, a pirate, a priest, a rabbi, a mathematician and an engineer all walk into a bar, and the bartender says, "What, is this some kind of joke?"

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A duck, a goose, a turkey and a bald eagle were all flying together. All four of them were shot and killed by drunk hunters with machine guns. The hunters were promptly arrested by police authorities for shooting their national symbol. They were found guilty, and the other three birds were cooked for their last meals.

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Did you hear what happened to the blonde ice hockey team? They drowned in spring training.

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Just aids, and gonnoreah, and... Jk, I wont type it here, and I am not "suffering" from nothing, its a condition, it can be a struggle, and yeah it could turn fatal, on the bright side its not contagious (its genetics, flawed genetics) but on the bright side, so far chances are greater of me dying from a giant meteor falling on me as I sleep, than from this... Not disease, genetic flaw, take it from a guy that was born without toenails, has two eardrums and some weird tiny holes on his ears (I can send you a pic of those tiny weird holes, they are not weird, kinda cute I been told and can say so myself) so you calm yet?

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What's brown and sticky? Feces.

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What's wrong with you? I have no idea.

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Well no, thats not true, sorry, I mean I GET THAT ALL THE FUCKING TIME!

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What do a chicken and a grape have in comon? - They're both purple, except for the chicken.

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What's wet and pink? Bubblegum!

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Why did the black dude die? Because everyone must die at some point.

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Ask me if i'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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how do you save a car from falling out of an airplane? I don't know.

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What happened after Will Ferrell took a dump? He wiped his ass and flushed.

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Your momma is so fat, she doesn't have a birthday. She has a birthweek.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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