How many blondes can you fit in a car? About 5 if you lift the arm rest.

Knock Knock Who's There Carly Carly Who Hey I just met you, and this is crazy So here's my number and call me maybe

Q: What's red and bad for your teeth? A: Bricks.

Why would a dog sniff another dog's butt hole? Because that is what they do.

why do midgets surf in kitchens? because of microwaves.

Why is there a rock in a boy's foot? He wasn't weraing shoes.

Yo momma is so stupid, she is in rehab and will unlikely get over her mental illness leading to her soon and fatal death.

Why did Dom move to Wales? Because he is poor!

What did Nick Comado say to the black person? Hello I live at 317 North 12th Street, Beech Grove, Indiana, USA. PLEASE come murder me and my family

9-11 please state your emergency. My house is flooding! Dad, youre in the swimming pool.

Why was the man's foot hurting? Because he was being fed into a wood chipper

I dyed my armpit hair blue yesterday because I wanted to start a new trend. My boyfriend later broke up with me.

What's yellow and smells like cheese? Cheese.

What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the ocean? Bob

A man asked a guy in a store for football cleats The guy got all confused because footballs cannot wear cleats

What's scarier than the most horrifying monster you can think of? The thought of Donald Trump becoming president!

God hates fags, no...god i'snt real

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimers, Cheese in toast,

Do you know why the kid jumped down the 50 foot hole? I dont know, jump in and ask him.

roses are blue violets are red dont judge me

Q: How do you make a fireman cry?? A: Drown his wife

School is like a boner. It is long and hard unless your asian.

What did the little boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas?? Nobody knows because he had no arms, therefore he could not open any presents.

Why couldn't the horse open the door? - Because it was locked...Beeeeeeeeeeeeeef Jelly

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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