How do you prevent a baby from crawling all over the place? You nail his hands to the floor

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There's a donut on a cruise ship and he goes up to the captain and he's like "hey captain can I drive the cruise ship" and the captain goes "nope, come back tomorrow" so the next day the donut goes up to the captain and says "hey captain can I drive the cruise ship" and the captain replies "nope, come back tomorrow" so the next day the donut goes up to the captain and he's like "hey captain can I drive the cruise ship" and the captain says "NO!" and throws him over board Theres a couple on the cruise ship and the man was going to have a romantic dinner with his girlfriend and propose. So he was showing his bestfriend (who was also on the cruise ship) the ring. But was he pulled it out the wind picked up and the ring fell over board. So the man was forced to have a romantic dinner with his girlfriend and couldn't propose. So they go to dinner and the both get crab. And when they open up the crab and guess what's in the crab?! Not the ring the donut!!!

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Why do showers have 11 holes? Because Jews only have 10 fingers

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Why was the school girl called a dork. Because a whale penis is called a dork, and she identically resembles a giant aquatic dick.

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So, why won't the blonde date the Asian guy? Because she's afraid of commitment.

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Why did Johnny play piano with one hand? Because he lost his other one in a mining accident when he was 10. Johnny lives in rural Perú so he had to support his 6 younger brothers and sisters by working in a child factory.

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What happened when Glen jumped off a building? The rope snapped his neck. He died.

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What did the boy say to his dad when he realized he was gay? Dad, I'm gay.

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Whats the difference between a Jew and a boy scout? Boy scouts come back from camp.

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What's the difference between the WNBA and the NBA? The WNBA features female athletes, as oppose to the males of the NBA.

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theres no 'I' in 'team' but theres an 'I' in 'hitler'

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's house? No. Well, neither has he

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whats a funny joke? nuthing nuthing at all

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If your mom is a teacher and your dad is a gynecologist, how many pancakes does it take to stack on top of a dog house roof? 12. Because footballs don't have feathers.

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A baby is cold and won't drink it's milk It's dead

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What's worse than a pile of dead babies? An alive one at the bottom eating its way up.

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How do you get the pesky neighborhood kids off your front lawn? Molest them.

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your friend: i did ur mom you: jokes on u my moms gross friend:.....

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whats big fat round and bounces on the ground? a ball and your mum

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How do you have gay sex? I don't know ask Jordan Braun

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Whats white and can kill you if it falls out of a tree? A refridgerator

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What's green and gets you high? Marijuana.

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What would George Washington do if he was able to talk to all of America? Ask them to dig him up.

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What's white and can't climb trees? A fridge

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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