What's worse than getting a parking ticket? Getting Cancer.

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why wasnt johnny in math class?....he slipped and cracked his skull on his way there, he is now recovering at the hospital

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How many fairies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two, but I don't know how they got in there.

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What do you call something green and fuzzy? Grass, I lied about the fuziness.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police, your child has been in a terrible car accident.

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Q: Why was the chicken waterboarded? A: Because the guy liked being cruel to animals.

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What did one duck say to the other? "Quack" Ducks don't talk. But if it were to say something it would probably mention how it is concerned about the fact that the majority of people on the internet don't know what ducks say to each other.

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Why did they bury the firefighter behind the hill? Because he was dead.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? ruh-ruh-blah-blah-bluh

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Q.Why did Bruno Mars marry the blond? A.Because it was a beautiful night and he was looking for something DUMB to do.

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whats worst than finding a worm in your apple???? an apple in your worm.

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Why is the earth round? Because God saw it was flat and thought "too flat lets turn it around" And all was good.

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Have you heard of that new jewish car? No, have you? No.

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wat did one chicken say to the other bock bock

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Your mom is so ugly- Wait, hold on. How are you born?

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So a Priest, a rabbi, and a monk walk into the bar... And got drinks. What did you think was going to happen?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know.

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knock knock... ....... no one replies.. the family is deff..

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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What is the funniest shirt Emil heskey has ever worn? A shirt that had this joke on it

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a man offers an innocent little child some candy from his van upon arrival the child is raped and beaten suverily. -teagan doherty-

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Someone asked me "What rhymes with Orange?" I replied "Door hinge." He punched me.

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Spongebob. "Hey Patrick, I thought of something funnier than 24." Patrick "Let me hear it." Spongebob "25"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops