what did the leprosy survivor get for christmas a amputation

What starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Popcorn

too bad about that wild ball, you otherwise played a fantastic softball game

What did the zen master say to the hot dog vendor? Make me one with everything,

why did the chicken cross the road? because he frickin wanted to!!!!!!

Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

What do you do with a wombat? Allow it to freely express instinctive behaviour in its natural habitat.

What do lawyers and sharks have in common? They both play vital roles in their own society or ecosystem.

A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

If u read thus your awsome .... And if your a emo kid with rainbow hair and a 3 inch penis then NO your bad

A guy walks into a bar and tells the bartender to give him any drink. The bartender gives him the drink and the customer instantly dies. Another person in the bar asked the bartender what dring did you give him. He answered back.....poison

What do you call man with no limbs or a head? Your neighbor.

Why did God create Ebola? Because he hates us all.

Guy 1: So how did you get into hospital Guy 2: I was drinking near my computer Guy 1: So why did it explode? Guy 2: (Doesn't reply)

what did the black guy say to the white guy? black guy: hello how are you doing white guy: good i guess.... just heard they shut down KFC black guy: that sucks

What's blue and looks like water? Yes.

Roses are Red Violets are Blue I just sharpened this hatchet Don't make me use it!

Hey babe, do you like water, because I have water.

Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because I pushed him.

How many dead babies can you fit in an oven? Depends on if you put them in the blender first.

Imagine yourself in a box with no windows and no doors. How do you get out? Stop imagining.

Grandpa loved a good joke, he died laughing. The doctor said it was a severe stroke probably brought on by smoking aggravated by high cholesterol and high blood pressure.

Did you know that Hellen Keller had a roller coaster in her backyard? Neither did she

How many blondes does it take to replace a light bulb? Well, it depends if the person is blond or not. Also the person's age, as kids may not understand this proses at all.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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