how do u make a snooker table laugh? TICKLE ITS BALLS HAHA

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when geese fly in a v formation, why is one side always longer then the other? Because you touch yourself at night...

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Whats the difference between a watermelon and babies I don't have a pile of dead watermelon in my basement

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theres no 'I' in 'team' but theres an 'I' in 'hitler'

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What do you call a woman with one leg shorter than the other? Whatever her name is.

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What is invisible and smells like rabbits? Bunny farts.

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What's white, black, red, and flies? An airplane pilot with a battleaxe driven into his head

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whats worse than a worm in your apple? the Holocaust

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"How high are you?" "I don't know, sir." "Well, look at the god damn altimeter."

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How many Jews can you fit into a Volkswagen Beatle? Two in the front, two in the back, and one hundred in the ash tray.

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Bob loves Anne. Anne loves Bob. No one cares.

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What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs because disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion).

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What's the difference between a black person and a pizza? Pizza is a type of food.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know. Me either. Well, later. Later.

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How to stop a baby from crying? Hit it with a brick

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A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released in a nearby park in a safe and risk free process.

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Are you made out of silicon, because you are silly and your name is Con.

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What's Black,White and red all over? A black person with a skin disease on her period.

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Jerry: Hi what's your name? Bob: My name is bob. Jerry: Bob, nice to meet you, my name is Jerry. Bob: Nice to meet you Jerry.

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#So tell me what you want, what you really really want, so tell me what you want, what you really really want.# OhOk then. I'll take that photo of your mother.

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what did the drunk man say to the bar tender? Hello good sir. Fine day today isn't it.

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knock knock who's there who who who and if u sat something about an owl I'll kick u in the face u fat cike

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A brunette, a redhead, and a blond are all stuck on an island 100 miles away from the nearest civilization with no resources. After 2 weeks, they decide that no one is going to save them and they have to swim for it. The brunette swims 25 miles and then gets eaten by sharks. The redhead swims 75 miles and then drowns. The blond swims 99 miles but got tired, so she swam back.

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Two men were patients at a mental institution. One was named Dave, the other named John. Dave very quietly said, "Hello, my name is Dave, and I have a violent form of phonophobia, so please do not-" "DICK!" Dave promptly strangled John. John had Tourettes Syndrome.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops