Yo momma, she so fat, she needs to buy extra-large clothes.

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Is your refridgerator running? good, because if it wasn't then your food would spoil.

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A man walks into a bar he orders a drink

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What did superman say when he flew into a building? Flying is inhumanly possible unless in an aircraft vehicle.

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A man walks outside and sits down to eat his sandwich.

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Why did the city disappear? Someone nuked it

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A quadriplegic walked into a bar, and... oh, whoops, nevermind.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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There were two mufins in an oven. They did not say anything because muffins are incapable of speech.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Your mamas so fat, she was self-conscious about her weight and became an antisocial vegetable.

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yo mama's so fat, yo mama's so ugly; your mothers breasts sag with such severity that the late great surrealist artist Salvador Dali mistook them for clocks

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Chuck Norris will die sometime in the future.

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Hey Johnny what's after 2?? 3.

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what do you call a guy that looks exactly like Mario. Frank because thats his name.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What did Robin say to Batman before they entered the Batmobile? "Batman, I'm a necropheliac."

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Women's rights

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he died.

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what do you do when a blond throws a grenade at you? run

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What's long and black The unemployment line

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Why did Mary fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Mary.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Oh..wait...that's actually an anti-joke already...

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I FEEL LIKE I'M RIDING ON A CLOUD actually it's physically impossible to ride on clouds because they are sparsely situated ice particles.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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