What do you call an apple, an orange, and a pear in a bowl? Fruit

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What's worse than getting raped by a duck? Getting raped by two ducks.

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What's the opposite of a joke? An anti-joke. You're reading one right now.

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Knock knock Whos there? Knock knock Who's there? Knock knock Who's there?! "is anyone home this is Helan Keller"

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Roses are red Violets are Blue Let's just screw

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What do you do when you find a blonde on her knees? Help her up, because obviously she has fallen.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Why can't Kim and Arnold get childern ? because they are 2 stones.

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i know the best knock knock joke! you start! other person: knock knock me: whos there ........

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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whats funny about four dead horses in a park ? the horses are dead!

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what unique about 3 red signs and 1 blue sign right next to eachother? there all the same colors!!!!except for the blue sign.

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A man that says YOU SUCK MY DICK YEAH!finds a woman that says YOU SUCK MY BOOB YEAH!They get married,The woman is actually a gay man!

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse being a horse and doesnt understand english is confused and scared by its surroundings it gallops away knocking over a few tables.

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Detroit has a low crime rate

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When life gives you Pure Filtered Water, Sweeteners (High Fructose Corn Syrup, Sugar), Lemon Juice from Concentrate, Less Than 0.5% of Each: Natural Flavors, Citric Acid (Provides Tartness), Modified Cornstarch, Glycerol Ester of Wood Rosin, Sodium Hexametaphosphate and Sodium Benzoate and Potassium Sorbate and Edta (to Protect Taste), Red 40 Make Lemonade.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato.

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How many Anne Franks does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, cause she's dead.

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Why did the boy cross the road? He was visiting his dying grandmother at the hospital.

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Why did the kid drop his football? He had a heart attack

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Why did the chicken cross the road .... The traffic light turned red

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A man came home from work and said to his wife im going to kill u

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For 10 cents a day you can feed an African...they eat pennies.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops