how do you make a baby cry? you throw a brick at it's face!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Josh Groban, John Mayer, Ben Folds and Nick Cave are at an underground club that specialises in lithuanian folk music and siberian vodka. end of story

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What was the black guy doing in Mississippi? Just hanging around.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

what is black and green and rainy all over? the democratic republic of congo

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Knock Knock Whos there? Knock knock? Whos there? Knock knock. WHOS IS THERE?!?!? Knock Knock is, my name is Knock Knock.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

do you know whats worse than a bad joke on antijoke.com the holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the little girl fall from the swing? She's got no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Q. What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A. Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the lady say to the boy who's parents just died? Haha, your parents just died.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

there are three types of people in this world, those who can't count, and those who can. STFU, you corny loser

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's the difference between The Hulk and The Thing? One is green.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why was Cathy sad. Her husband Drew was killed by a land mine on a peace keeping mission to Iraq.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you call a guy who stabs cereal? A cereal killer.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

knock knock whos there? police police who? police your house is on fire and your kid just died from broncitisand i just farted and u get a tickit because u answered the door naked

thumb_up thumb_down +12

When life hands you lemons you can't make lemonade, Sugar and Water are two other key ingredients that were not included with the lemons.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A hard-working man, in his early forties with slightly graying hair, arrives to work earlier every day. He values integrity and dedication. His loving wife is proud of his accomplishments and her favorite part of the day is when he arrives home from a day at the office. He is close friends with the Director of HR, because he believes that we all should be respected and treated fairly on the job. Today, there is a board meeting, which he prepared for extensively, because he cares deeply about what happens to this great company. His boss greets him after the meeting is done and says, "Great job, that presentation was even better than yours usually are." It was a very long meeting, so they both end up going to the Men's Room. What does he say when his boss corners him near the urinals and demands sex? Nothing. He doesn't like to talk during sex.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A man and a hobo meet on a narrow path. What does the hobo do? Finds the mans wife and impregnateds her, aborts the baby, takes dead fetus chops it up and makes the man eat it in a salad. While the man is chocking he shotes him and walks on.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

relatable: school : 2+2=4 Homework: 2+4+2=8 Exam: oscer has 4 apple his train was 7 min early now caulate the mass of the sun

thumb_up thumb_down +12

why is ur dad an alcoholic? he drinks a lot of alcohol

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A man walks into a bar later at night & the bartender says how was your day the man replies "well I found out my mom is a raging crack addict, my grampa has alzheimer's & i have terminal cancer" how was yours the bartender says "I found out im Hitlers lost son".

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q. What do cows and grass have in common? A. They both moo, except for grass ????????????

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A woman has sex with an Asian man, then a white man, and then a black man. She chooses to be in a relationship with the black man because he is prepared for the responsibilities of a relationship and the other two men, though both are well endowed, are not ready.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What is the hottest day of the week? Wednesday

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How do you confuse a blond? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops