What did the viking say to the alien? "Vad i namn av valhalla är en utlänning gör här?"

thumb_up thumb_down +18

a girl had just gotten dumped by her boyfriend over a text message. she got very sad and became suicidal

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's invisible and smells like carrots? An invisible carrot!

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A man walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The barman says no.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Just checked my Tesco burgers in the fridge and they're still within the use by date.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Q: Why shouldn't you walk under a ladder? A: Because it could fall on top of you. Be a reasonable human being and just fly OVER the ladder.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What gets bigger and bigger and bigger, then dies? A baby.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

So yesterday i walked into a bar, so what?

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A group of 8 paintbal professionals land on an island to battle another paintball team. The team is then faced by a challeng of the other team ambushing them. Everyone is okay and not touched. A case breaks the window of the bus they hide in. They open the case and find a bullet proof vest. A man placed the vest on himself. They made it one by one out of the bus and to the otherside of the field the man with the vest was shot and started going... eghegeheghdjrhherbehgh and they pulled out a real gun bulet. They were now under attack by an enemy with real amunation. Then next man to run across the fied was killed. Tehy ran fr their lives.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

whats yellow and very big? I dont know. no one will tell me

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Whats worst then getting a paper cut. Being stabbed by a screw driver.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

How do you fit 100 Jews in a car? You can't

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Your Mother is so ugly that men tend to avoid her.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Roses are red, violets are blue shut the hell up, and sit the hell down

thumb_up thumb_down +16

roses are red, violets are blue, if you want to success, stop being a mess..

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What was John Lennon's last hit? The pavement.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What starts with P and ends in ORN Popcorn!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Whats the difference between the Taliban and a Football Team? I'm not on the football team.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Seriously, I am going to tell you, but you know, what would you have preferred that it was if you could choose, I am kinda insecure about these things, and people can read these messages so...

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do joe greene and joe biden have in common? Their first name

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why do you stick a baby in a blender feet first? So you can see the expression on its face...

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How do you get a baby to stop crying? Hit it with a brick.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

-It ain't over till the fat lady sings -she just did -oh, I guess it's over then -k

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's long hard and full of seman. A submarine.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops