How do you stop R Kelly from peeing on little girls? Kill all little girls.

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An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Unless your father is a doctor and you live with him.

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Go away nothing to see here,. I said go away

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Rocky was chasing him

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Why was Yabba annoyed? Because the idiots who do the audio description voiceover for Timmy Time on BBC iPlayer frequently refer to her as a male even though she is clearly a female duck.

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Knock Knock I have a f*cking doorbell you asshole

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what did the maker of anti jokes website say while reading some of the jokes on here? these people r idiots. and he lived happily ever after. then died. Good one

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My mother always said that jumping in piles of leaves was fun. That was before she died of pancreatic cancer.

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What's white and can't climb a tree? A fridge

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What did the alcoholic tell his son? Don't do meth.

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So a priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. They order some wine and have an enjoyable evening.

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What's the difference between and train carriage and a miscarriage? You can't eat a train carriage!

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A: Where does a cow go on the weekends? B: To the mooooovies? A: No, to the slaughterhouse.

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What do you call a man in a wall? Stuck.

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why was the boy sad he had a frog stapled to his face

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When life gives you melons you may be dyslexic.

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An elephant walks into a bar. Several people are trampled.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put my cøck in your mouth. Submitted by Arsha K.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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haiku for you ladies and gents My mother once said, "Slow and steady wins the race" She died in a fire.

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Q: what do you call the green and the (stone eater) animal? A:the green and the (stone eater) animal

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If you are what you eat, then imagine a prostitute.

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Gay people: "Quit calling Justin Bieber gay, we don't want him either."

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How many inches of snow are there when the fireplace burns for 10 minutes? Red chickens

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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