Knock Knock Who's there? Ken. Can I some and use your toilet, I really need a shit.

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How do you rape someone? No, its a question. I don't know the best way to go about this.

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Why did the Grizzly bear refrain from attacking the hiker? It didn't. The hiker was torn to shreds within minutes.

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A little boy was walking down the street when a strange looking van stopped next to him and the man driving asked the little boy where he lived, where his mother was, and if he wanted a puppy because he had some in the back seat.... The boy proceeded to enter the van. The man then handed the child a puppy and promptly drove the boy home.

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Q: What is green, jumps and says i'm a frog? A: A frog that talks

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What's red and bad for you teeth. A brick

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How do you fit 10 babies in a bowl? With a blender. How do you get them out of the bowl? You don't, you've already been arrested for multiple cases of infanticide.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Before you sneeze Say PIK-Achoo

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Its linked with the process of extracting uranium isotopes, but lets change the subject, with that said, I hope you can help me with some management advice such as the one you gave me, I will of course pay you.

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what has 2 legs and red all over half a cat.

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What's funny about Magic Johnson's T-Cell count? Nothing. He has AIDS, and it's a degenerative disease, that will eventually result in death. There's nothing funny about that.

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Why couldn`t Sally open the jar? Because she did not have thumbs.

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What would a gay man do with a jelly doughnut? Thoroughly enjoy its fruity taste.

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Whats black and blue and red all over? An infant after its been beaten with a bat.

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What is similar about Michael Jackson and Walmart? Nothing they have nothing to do with each other

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Scientists are still unable to fully understand the brain functioning of chickens enough to comprehend their motives for doing such a thing.

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roses are red violets are blue maskrosor are gula

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What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? He said : "where's my tractor?!"

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Bacon makes everything delicious, yes? And coffee makes everything exciting, yes? Put the two together and you get a caffeinated porky roller coaster in your mouth.

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How do you make a boy cry? Pour soup on his head.

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A man walks into a bar. Something funny happens.

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Why didnt Stevie Wonder wave back at the white man? Because he's a racist.

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Bill: Hey Bob guess what? Bob:What? Bill: your adopted

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Why did little Tommy eat an apple? Because he was on a diet

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops