A paralyzed guy walks into a bar... Oh wait, he can't.

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a penguin biked to a bakery he walked in and asked for buns the baker said how many 12 or 13 the penguin said it don't matter I brought my bike

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A man took a crap. . . . It felt amazing

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How many fairies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two, but I don't know how they got in there.

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What did the dog say to the rabbit? I quite liked Prince's first album.

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How do you put your babysitter in jail? Kill your kid on her shift.

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Why was the man walking down the street late at night? Because he's homeless and has nowhere to stay.

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Why the african children was sad? - Because an octopus bite his arm

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What's the difference between an airplane and a cantaloupe? What? Wow your a dumby head.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool? An ambulance.

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Did you know Hellen Keller had a tree house? Yeah..neither did she.

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A lesbian and a gay both lie about there gender on eharmony, trying to get a date with someone there own gender. By coincedene, they get matched and go on a date, and both of them realize how weird this situation is and go home.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in an open hole Poor body disposal practice

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Why did the boy trip? A small explosion in the center of the earth caused by a hobo created a tsunami, causes a seagull to fly off in alarm. The seagull lands on a Smart Car, causing it to crash, which sends a signal off to a satellite in space. Because of this, a massive earthquake occurs. Oh, and the boy? There was a bowl of soup left carelessly on the ground.

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knock knock who's there? Jehovah's witness GOOD BYE!

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Could not care less if he is jealous, too busy living it up, anyways thanks for notifying me, and guys, I know I could call up the office and tell you all that you wont get paid if you remain reading my comments, I might not be leading by example today, but I suggest you get back to work, as for the case whose name we do not reveal here, my part is done, yes I know, you can find it under cabinet C in my office, the thick file with the color pictures (the only one with color pictures) And that is why I am taking a break, now please get back to work, as I said I could just call down at every damn office room, but that would be unfair for those that are not on horsecrap network. Thanks people, keep the flag flying. Nero your overlord Fuck formalities, im not at work today.

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What do you get when you cross rice flour,vegetable oil,corn oil,cottonseed oil,soybean oil,dried potatoes,corn flour,maltodextrin,wheat starch,modified rice starch,sugar and mono-and-di-glycerides,malted barley flour,wheat bran,dried black beans and salt? Pringles,Multi Grain,truly original

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Why did the chicken cross the road? We will never know because he got hit by a car.

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What did the baby do when it crossed the rode? It didn't get across it got hit by a car.

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What's worse than strapping 10 dead baibes to a tree? Strapping a dead baby to 10 trees.

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How does a cancer patient bathe? He can't because he lives in an arid climate where water is scarce.

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Who created Apple? Steve jobs.

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Why was the boy sad? A crazed drifter killed his family and made him watch.

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Q: How do you eat a dead baby? A: One piece at a time.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops