Q: How many Jewish people can fit in a four door sedan? A: 4, or possibly 5, depending on the sedan's optional seating, and depending on whether the gentleman are comfortable enough with each other to scoot closer to allow a 5th friend to join in.

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Run it over with a lawn mower!

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How much does a dead battery cost? Nothing, it's free of charge.

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Q: What's blue and smells like grass? A: Blue grass.

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What do you call a bright orange fish? A gold fish.

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An Jewish man worked at a bank, and ate chicken noodles for lunch and then stabbed and man playing the saxophone.

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Q: How did the dead baby get to the other side of the road? A: I threw it over there.

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cccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccorn

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Your mom is so old she died

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Why did Jenny fall off her bike? She had no arms Knock knock Who's there Not Jenny

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What did the thin Italian say to the fat Italian? I don't know, I can't speak Italian.

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Was the worlds most expensive comedian any fun? Well, he was funny, but they where all cheap laughs. Moral: Expensive jokes are expensive.

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How do you make an apple puff? Put the apple in a large pan with some water. Cover and cook gently for 20-25 minutes until soft. Add sugar and nutmeg to taste. Transfer to a bowl and leave to cool. Cover with pastry and bake until well-risen and golden.

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there were two cyclists cycling down a main road in china at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace, one being chinese and the other irish. why did the irish man get stopped and the chinese man not? because the irish man had in fact raped and murdered a young child in his native home town and then fled the country to china.

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What's worse than being dead? Nothing.

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar

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A Haiku It Is This One Is Kind Of Boring Now It's Time For Bed

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Why were 5 tall white guys sitting on a bench? They were in the NBA

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How do you tickle a tree? you dont you are a schizo stop kicking leaves

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What do you call a person with one eye and no arms? Names.

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What's the difference between a bowling ball and guacamole? The guacamole is delicious with chips, and the bowling ball is just a bowling ball.

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Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and an orange? One is a deceased human infant and the other is a delicious citrus fruit.

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a man walks into a bar. ouch. that must suck, but he should really look where he's going

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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