Q: Why are pine trees green? A: Because of the green pigments in the leaves known as chlorophyll which are used to capture sunlight.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How many trees does it take to screw in a light bulb? Trees are incapable of screwing light bulbs

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the blonde cross the road? To get to the Public University where she worked as a Ph.D associate professor of linguistics.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What is the difference between an Australian and an Ethiopian? One is from Australia the other is from Ethiopa

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A horse, a duck, a pig, and a muslim walk into bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the muslim has a can, being surprised at how far a can can preach hate in chicago. The bartender reminds the muslim that he is keeping company with a swine, and the muslim feels offended for the poor horse.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Q: What's black and blue and is all over Timmy's mother? A: The bruises his father gave her when he came home drunk.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What happens when you get caught inside a tornado? You don't, the debris around you will most certainly kill you before you get close to the tornado.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was being chased by other cannibal chickens.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How did the man eat 100 mints in one bite? I'm not sure myself, but we can agree on one thing, his breath is gonna fresh.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

why does andy speak when not spoken too because he wants a smack

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did thirty starving Jews fight for on the train ride to Birkenau? A crumb. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why can't John hear what Muhammad says? John is deaf.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti - Jokes. com

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's Black, white, green, and red? To bloody zebras fighting over a pickle

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? (Because she was blind and deaf?) No, because she was a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

why did the dead baby cross the road? it was stapled to the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the woman make so many sandwiches? She was a mother catering for her child's sporting event.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did Dmitri say to all his friends? Nothing he has no friends

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's worse than burning your bacon? Finding your daughter decapitated and raped in the basement.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did the fat man order at McDonalds? Nothing, he was on a diet

thumb_up thumb_down -14

batman farted so hes retarded

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A: How many women does it take to screw in a light bulb? Q: None! They shouldn't have to...

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do you call a dog with 3 legs? Just because it has 3 legs dosnt mean you have to call it anything different

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why can't dogs fly? Because they do not have wings.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops