What's blue and thrashes about on the floor? A baby playing in a plastic bag. How do you make a man pregnant? Stick a dead baby up his ass! How do you stop a baby falling down a manhole? Stick a javelin through it's head. How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard you throw them. -S

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Why did Jim get hit by a train? Because he was standing in the tracks.

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What's worst than finding a worm in your apple? A fat kid sitting on you

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how do u make a snooker table laugh? TICKLE ITS BALLS HAHA

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Roses are red violets are blue this poem is stupid.

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How do you get a black guy out of a tree? You don't, he just jumps down.

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Why did the plane crash? The Pilot Wash a Loaf of Bread

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How do you get children to behave? Chop them up.

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So this drunk guy pokes this girl. 4 months later she has a misscarrage

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Why did the little boy fall over. Because someone shot him in the face.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the street? A: Because that was the direction it was headed.

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why didn't the chicken cross the road? It was very unhealthy, and had a heart attack attempting too

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Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him and got better.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Too many because they are babies and they don't have the motor skills to properly use a paintbrush.

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your face

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life is like a rapist. sometimes they're nice other times, they ram you in the ass.

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-Knock knock! -Who's there? -DEFAX.

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What did thirty starving Jews fight for on the train ride to Birkenau? A crumb. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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Knock, Knock Who's there? Interrupting cow Interrupting c- Moo

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What is the difference between a clown and a dead baby? One makes you laugh and one is just a clown.

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A grandma starts pinching her grandsons cheeks and saying who's a little cutie pie the baby begins to bleed cause his grandmas nails are peircing his skin

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Why didn't the man go to the movies?? Because he likes pie.

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A black man walks into a store with a ski mask on... what does he do?? he buys skiis.

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What did the dying man say to his friends? Nothing. He had no friends.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops