Why did James drop his ice-cream? He was mourning the loss of his mother to terminal illness so he threw himself in front of a train.

My friend was waving a stick around and yelling out spells, so walked up to him and asked "You want to be Harry Potter, don't you?" He replied excitedly "Yeah!!" So i killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

Why did little Tommy eat an apple? Because he was on a diet

What do an owl and a squirrel have in common? They can both fly! Except for the squirrel.

how do you confuse a blonde do nothing

A black, Kenyan man enters a race. He comes in second to last as he didn't practice as much as the other contestants.

Why did the old man throw the clock out the window? Because he didn't want to go to a store that could repair it, so then he thought that it was better off on his yard where it could compost.

Ask me if i'm a tree. Are you a tree? No. okay? Why did the chicken cross the road? why? because its motor skills allowed it to cross. dude, seriously? What did Jimmy's grandmother get him for Christmas? What?. Nothing she died two years ago. that's horrible. When did she die? On his birthday. Dude, stop! Wait how did she die? Fine, How? She was driving down the road and swerved to miss a chicken. oh. And what did she hit? UGGG What? Thankfully not me. because I wasn't the tree. :0 oooooooooooooh

Jerry Sandusky walks up to the reception desk at a day care center. What does the lady at the desk say? Nothing, she promptly gives Mr. Sandusky his son and they leave.

What is annoying and uses another language? Spanish class!

A man walks into a bar and shuffles his way through the intoxicated patrons. He finds the only open stool and quickly sits in it before any other see it. The bartender approaches him and ask: "What will it be?" The man replies: "Can I have a beer?"

Why was the dog barking? Because I lit him on fire.

Q: what sport has a bunch of white guys sitting on a bench? A:the NBA

have you seen stevie wonder's harmonica? neither has he.

Wanna hear a hot headed retard? call and listen carefully 6196342668

rozes r read violots r bue i cannt soell causse ima bliend

What's gay black & Jewish? The Ku Klux Klan

Why did the man walk into the bar Because he was an acoholic

If life hands you lemons your probably hallucinating.

whats funnier than throwing a baby off a cliff cathcing him at the bottom with a pitch fork

A dog got into a gingerbread house. She ate some and brought some to the basement it got on the couch!

Roses are red Violets are blue Hop in the van or I will rape you

What's white and can't climb a tree? A Refrigerator

A Hispanic was walking down the street, he turned left and was at his house.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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