Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the chicken fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the monkey.

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A man wakes up after a long night with a girl he recently met. He pulls out a cigarette, and looks for his lighter, but can not find it. He asks the girl if she has a lighter and she replies "There might be some matches in the top drawer of my dresser." He opens the top drawer and finds some matches.

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George Washington, a priest, a nazi and a jew are on a plane that's going to crash. There is only one parachute. George Washington says "For my country" and jumps off without a parachute. The priest says "For God" and jumps off without a parachute. The nazi says "For Hitler" and pushes the jew off and takes the parachute.

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Q: Why did the dog bark? A: it cant talk.

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How many Jews can fit in a Volkswagen beetle? Four, although five is possible if you are not afraid of getting a ticket.

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What would you do for a klondike bar? Pay the manufacturers suggested retail price.

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c======3

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Burrinbar Smells like incest anal sex!

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What's black and white and red all over? I don't care I have AIDS

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had two penises.

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a pan of muffins comes out of the oven one muffin says "hey im really burnt" another muffin says "oh my gosh! a talking muffin!"

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7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,8

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interviewer: young man, do you think you can handle a variety of work? Young man: I ought to be able to. I’ve had 12 different jobs in 4 months.

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the WNBA.

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Q: what did the dog say to the cat? A: nothing dogs can't talk

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Why are apples cheaper than lemons? Because you have to pay less money then lemons to buy them

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Q; What's the new slogan for the TSA? We handle more junk than EBay.

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Next up, Sharpi and Ryan take their audition faliure very seriously in "columbine high school musical"

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Why did the girl blush when she opened the fridge? Because she saw the salad dressing

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Why did Timmy drop his ice cream cone? Because a skyscraper landed on him. Yes. A skyscraper.

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Why was the little boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his forehead

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Q; why did the German ask the Jew to go in his shower? A; because the Jew had stayed the night at the Germans house.

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Haikus are simple but sometimes they don't make sense refrigerator.

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Have you ever seen the movie called "The Tourist"? No

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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