Q: 1 out of every 44 presidents can dunk, who is it? A: How the hell am i suppost to know

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "You already had me chained to the bed. You didn't have to break both of my legs, Kathy Bates."

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a man was cooking a tortilla. what did he say when he dropped it while flipping the tortilla? oops i dropped my tortilla

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Knock knock: Who's there: Woo: Woo Who: I knew you'd be glad to see me.

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what do you call a black man sleeping on a park bench at 2 in the morning? Homeless

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Obama lin Baden.

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12345678910111213141516171819whatcomesnext

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What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream in the oven.

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Knock Knock who's there? Steve Steve who? Steve. I already told you my name.

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Daughter: Dad I have some news for you Dad: What is it? Daughter: I am pregnant Dad: ... I am so happy I am going to have a grandson, my 27 year old daughter just married and now pregnant, this is a great day!

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whats the best anti joke ever? mine you dipshit

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Q:Whats yellow and white and sits at the bottom of a pool? A: A baby with slashed floaties Q:Whats red and gory and sits at the top of a pool? A: Floaties with a slahed baby

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He never did because he's in KFC

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Why did the midget cross the road? He needed to buy a ladder

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What does a squirrel get when it rains? It gets wet.

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Why is it so hard to find slim fitting clothes in America? Because not many clothing stores carry them.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, your Mom is a fake, she adopted you!

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How do you make a cripple cry Cut of his legs, THEN telll him a joke

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Q; How does a priest perform an exorcism? A: He doesn't.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? Because it thought it was a squirrel.

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What happened to the man that walked into the bar... He walked into the bar

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dont you hate it when your reading something and it doesnt end the way you cactus

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Who ya gonna call? ... Whoever you need to talk to at the current time.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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