Why were my arms so tired after I flew in from the coast? Because the stewardess, god rest her soul, failed to latch the door securely.

Twilight is so bad, I read it and personally didn't like it as a book.

What do you call a baby with a shadow? A shadow-baby!

Why did the woman scream when she saw the mouse? Because she's afraid of technology.

What's large, black and can be found in Australia? A large black Australian man.

A man walks into a bar, and promptly leaves because he left his kid in the car.

Man U

What was the last thing the boy heard before he was hit by the school bus? Nothing. He was deaf.

what did the black guy ge for christmas? a speeding ticket

Why was Billy's grandma not around for Thanksgiving? Because she's dead

Two boys go down stairs on christmas day. They fall and die.

Q: What did the boy say to the girl? A: Wanna go to homecoming?

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he was forced, along with thousands of his poultry counterparts, on a march to meet their imminent death at a mass slaughterhouse. Upon being beheaded and processed, the meaty corpse was delivered to a local grocery store and cooked into a wholesome family dinner.

What's worse than a baby nailed to a tree? Ten babies nailed to a tree. What's worse than ten babies nailed to a tree? One baby nailed to ten trees.

What did one Teacher say to the other teacher? Nothing. The first teacher has a horrible drinking habbit which is getting out of hand, He beats his wife and children each night after his drinks at the bar. His parents have stopped all contact and he found some divorce papers in his wifes draw, also saying she would be getting full costudy of the children. He has lost the majority of his friends and didnt want to loose another one, and kept his problems to himself.

What do a tree and I have in common? We would both be mad if we got turned into paper.

Why did the Mexicans climb the fence? When they were tossing frisbee and accidentally tossed it into their neighbors yard and they had to go get it.

Why did the girl stop smoking? Because her mum asked her to.

When the mom came home from work, she was very tired. Her son asked her nicely to make him a PB&J sandwich. She says sure and makes one for him. The boy was very happy and ate his sandwich. I was actually lying above. The mom was actually killed by three men in hoodies that were hiding in her backyard. The came inside and also murdered the boy. Worst of all the killers took all of the food and the rasberries the boy was looking forward to eat, Guess it doesn't matter since he is gone...

What's the difference between a park bench and a black man? Nothing. They're both capable of supporting a family of three.

What did the man on the moon say? Nothing. He died because his supply of oxygen ran out.

Roses are red, my name is Dave, this poem makes no sense, microwave

have you seen stevie wonder's house. no? Well nethier has he you

woman's rights

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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