Roses are red, Violets are blue; In Soviet Russia, POEM WRITES YOU!

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an american walks out of a strip club.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock Whose there? Obviously not Suzie.

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what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A- a tv

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are you MC Donald's because I'm lovin' it!

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Q. What did the blond say when she woke up? A. I don"t know. I wasn't there.

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What did God say when he made his first black guy? Oh no I burned one! :)

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Whats really down a black hole? I don't know...The last person to go down one never came back because he died of AIDS.

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? were lawyers

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- Mom, you have a banana in you ear. - What? Son I can't hear you, I have banana in my ear.

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Why did the rose look so brown? Because it was dead

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Whats worse than a worm in your apple? Two worms in your apple...

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Why did the black man go to jail? He stole some rice.

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Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Getting yours asshole clawed by a grizzly

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Oh..wait...that's actually an anti-joke already...

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Bill: Hey Bob guess what? Bob:What? Bill: your adopted

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Knock knock! Who's there? F*ck. F*ck who? F*ck you.

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I have read and agree to the Terms of Service.

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What happens when you rub two penises together? Gay sex.

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POOP.....People Order Our Patties

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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A shoemaker walks into a bar holding a shoebox with only one shoe inside. The bartender gives him a drink and asks "Say mister, why are you carrying that shoebox with one shoe?" The shoemaker says "Well sir, it's a long story." The bartender says "Okay, give me the short version." The shoemaker says "Okay, long story short, I'm not really a shoemaker." The bartender asks "Well buddy, what are ya?" The shoemaker gets up from his chair and says "I'm a guy missing shoe."

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Barman: Why the long face? Horse: To support my twelve molars and twelve premolars which help me chew grass so I can swallow it properly.

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Q: Why couldn't Billy breathe? A: Because when the truck ran over him his lungs were crushed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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