What's worse than dying of boredom? ...Being stabbed.

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what's gray, rectangular, and provides a good time? your mother's sex tape.

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Why was the chair spinning Cause it wants to

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I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

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A fat man orders a pizza. Then after eating it, he gets a eart attack due to his high cholesterol and lack of exercise

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Whats cooler than cool? nothing because cool does not have a defined temperature therefore nothing can be cooler than it.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? cause it was dead

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Why doesn't the farmer have a dog? He doesn't like dogs.

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Why is the black guy jobless? He's 3 years old.

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Q: What race was Jesus Christ? A: None, he's not real

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She was a woman

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What happened to the Jewish man while he was in the shower? He accidentally fell asleep and was late to his job.

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A polish guy Is sick of being made fun of for his ethnicity, so he decides that he is going to act Italian thinking that no one makes fun of Italians. He stays home for weeks to practice this and one day walks out, up to a store and says"eh, get me some lasagna and zucchini !" the man at the store asks if he's polish.

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Why shouldn't gingers smoke before they are 3? Because they have souls and still abide by the same rules!........................................................................................................................................ If you laughed at that you either don't like gingers or should be shot. And by the way... Why did Snape kill Dumbledore? Because he had to.

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A women was driving along in her brand new, swanky, red ferrari when she spotted a red light in the distance. She stopped steadily, following the rules of the road. All of a sudden a loud bang came from behind her where a young driver had hit her at 50 mph. They both come to an abrupt stop and exited their vehicles. The women says "Idiot, you just hit me!" The boys says "oh don't worry, I have insurance."

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Whats the difference between a dead baby and a corvette? I didn't get 20 years for owning a corvette.

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What is the difference between a Homosexual and a Heterosexual? They are both Black.

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There are two muffins sitting in an oven, one muffin says to the other; boy it's hot in here. the other other muffin doesn't reply because it's a muffin, muffins don't talk. Now consider that the first muffin was a squirrel, A TALKING SQUIRREL!

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What did the frog say when he heard his family was dead? "ribbit"

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Relax, close down the place, he wont get very far. The rest of you better stay inside, and I promise you will all remain safe and secure.

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Knock Knock ...Does anybody know how to use a goddamn door bell these days?

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sadf

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Your mother is of a healthy weight and a pleasure to be around.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side... (other side as in the afterlife, for it committed suicide by crossing the road)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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