Imagine yourself in a box with no windows and no doors. How do you get out? Stop imagining.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Roses r Red Violets r Blue I'm schizophrenic So am i too!

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What has feet, but no legs? An alien.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

How do you confuse a bar tender? You ask him how tender he is.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

why did the chicken cross the road? to get to your house..... knock knock! whos there? THE CHICKEN!!

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Two elephants were in a bathtub. One elephant asks the other "pass the soap?" The other elephant passes him the soap and they continue with their bath.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What do you call a dog with two tails? ...Depends on what you named it.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Who has two thumbs and lost them? Me but I can't really point at myself due to the lack of thumbs.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Nothing, because they weren't made. Cupcakes were made instead. Sorry, Muffins.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

"Merry Christmas, Mom! My gift to you is...ME!" "I brought you into this life you disrespectful brat!" He then proceeds to a cliff.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Have you seen the blind man's new house? No. Neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

a naked man walks into a bar the police arrived 10 minutes

thumb_up thumb_down -23

How do you make your children nice? You dont have any.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What's black, white and sings the intro theme song for "Thomas the Tank Engine" while tap-dancing? There probably isn't anything that does that.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to prom. First he goes to get a tux but there's a long tux line at the shop and it takes forever. Next, he hast to get some flowers so he goes to a florist and there is a huge flower line there. It takes forever but he gets the flowers. Next he heads to get a limo, unfortunately there is a long limo line at the rental office and it takes a long time but he gets the job done. Finally the day of the prom comes and the two are dancing happily and are having a good time. When the song is over she asks him to get her some punch, so he heads over to the punch table and there is no punchline.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Two Lawyers were talking to one another. The first lawyer said, "Wow this is the fourth case I've won in a row!" The other lawyer did not know how to respond because of the men the other lawyer put in jail had escaped from jail and already killed the lawyer's family.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

How many blondes does it take to replace a light bulb? Well, it depends if the person is blond or not. Also the person's age, as kids may not understand this proses at all.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

We're no strangers to love You know the rules and so do I A full commitment's what I'm thinking of You wouldn't get this from any other guy I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling Gotta make you understand Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you We've known each other for so long Your heart's been aching, but You're too shy to say it Inside, we both know what's been going on We know the game and we're gonna play it And if you ask me how I'm feeling Don't tell me you're too blind to see Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you (Ooh, give you up) (Ooh, give you up) Never gonna give, never gonna give (Give you up) Never gonna give, never gonna give (Give you up) We've known each other for so long Your heart's been aching, but You're too shy to say it Inside, we both know what's been going on We know the game and we're gonna play it I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling Gotta make you understand Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What did the frog say when he heard his family was dead? "ribbit"

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why did the rooster cross the road? Because he wanted to prove he wasn't a chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why did the black man bleed to death? He was stabbed, but he bled to death because his doctor had just prescribed him some blood-thinners for his serious headaches.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Did you hear about the guy who fed his dog his baby? No Oh

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Your mom is such a big whore that she sleeps with your dad.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What do lawyers and sharks have in common? They both play vital roles in their own society or ecosystem.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops