what do you call a old guy who touches children? my dad

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Poop

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Anything you like, he's blind.

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What's blue, white and red all over? Not a duck.

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What do baseball and The Holocaust have in common? They're both sports, except for the The Holocaust.

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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what's better than being stabbed in the testicles with a biro? the Silversun Pickup's album Neck of the Woods

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What's the difference between a ghost and a dolphin? A ghost isn't a dolphin.

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why did the man turn on and off the lights 20 times because he was diagnosed with O.C.D as a child

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Knock knock Whos there? Sorry, wrong house,goodbye!

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How did the frog fly? It drank a magic potion. How did the snake fly? It ate the frog How the the eagle fly? It already can.

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Why did James drop his ice-cream? He was mourning the loss of his mother to terminal illness so he threw himself in front of a train.

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What did the magician's assistant say after the magician cut her in half?... Nothing. Her spine was severed and she died instantly.

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Texter 1: Hey, do you want to hang out? Texter 2: Sorry dude, i lost my phone, i'm trying to find it Texter 1: Ok, text me when you find it Texter 2: OK

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What do you call a bear with no teeth? A Gummy Bear!!

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Everytime someone says Jamie on this website, he's referring to Dylan, cause he's to insecure to write jokes about anyone else. Please direct all jokes at Dylan Hodge, 14 years of age, living in Queensland, Australia, come to his house to watch the f a g man, suck his mothers p e n i s.

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Why do Jews have such big noses? They don't; To suggest phenotypic variation along religious lines is preposterous.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor

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A panda walks into a bar, orders some bamboo shoots, and bamboo leaves, and eats them

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Roses are red, Violates are blue. I have an erection, and its lasted more then three hours

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Why are leprechauns so happy? The grass tickles their balls

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AARgh my name is AWsaing the nawant of the where of amzai Giant rabbit bunny

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why are you going to laugh at this its reallly dumb

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What's black and hangs from a tree? A tire swing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops