What's the difference between your mom and a table? The table has legs.

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A Mexican and a black man are in a car. Who's driving? The black man, because he was the designated driver for the night and was being helped by his good friend, Paco the Mexican, to quit his alcohol addiction. The AA meetings and rehab clininc were failing and he had lost his job. Jamaal, the black man, is now attending night school and holding down a part-time job at his local Baha Fresh. paco is very proud of him.

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Do you know why one side of the V formation that geese fly in is longer than the other? Because there's more geese on that side.

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Why does Chuck Norris always know the time? He bought a fancy new watch.

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An orthodox rabbi, a Methodist preacher and a Muslim Cleric walk into a bar and blow that month's tithings on video slots.

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Why did the car crash? Because the driver was blind

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If life hands you melons you might be dyslexic

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What did the boyfriend give his girlfriend for Valentine's Day? AIDS

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Why can't Hellen Keller play the piano? She's dead.

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What’s spotty, has three legs and is green all over? …well?

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I would tell you a joke about a broken pencil, but it's pointless.

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Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black I'm blind

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hwhy did the monkey fall out of the tree? he got shot. why did the other monkey fall out of the tree? he was nailed to the first one.

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Why did the homosexual cross the road without looking both ways? He was blind......

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Corn Muffins

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Nero, man, I mean I will hurt you, I am on my way to the hospital, and seriously that pic does not look real, seriously on a hospital? I mean man, I am really sorry! I nearly killed you, how was i supposed to know you do not care about your teeth and take half a bottle of that calcium stuff? My mom? Yeah sure! She laughed at the message you sent her, and if you touch my sis, ill kill you, anyway I am on my way, you better change your mind or I will kick your ass!

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What would Hellen Keller say to Obama? Nothing she can't speak.

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Why did the Mexican mow the lawn? He needed money to feed his family and to pay for his daughter's college education.

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What do you call someone who can legally murder? OJ Simpson

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How many dead babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Impossible, non-living organisms are incapable of moving and babies lack the brain capacity to understand how to screw in a light bulb.

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Q: what's yellow and can't use chopsticks. A: corn

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what starts with b and ends with b? The bomb i just planted in your house.

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What is similar between the Holocaust and soccer? They both suck.

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Two guys walk into A bar. The third one ducks.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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