A duck walks into a bar. The bartender says what will it be? The duck replies "lemonade!"

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Your mama so fat that when she cut herself gravey came out and we drank it too!

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What do you call something green and fuzzy? Grass, I lied about the fuziness.

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what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

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Why did a black kid kill his teacher? No reason. That what they do

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What do you call a penguin sliding down a hill how should i know.

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What's the best thing about the Pixies? Their music.

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asking someone to check ur broken wing mirror to fall into that persons arms by accident is not a good idea

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Knock Knock Who's there? The Police. Come out with your hands up!

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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A man walks down the street past a flamboyant homosexual male and kills him in a hate crime. This homosexual was Dylan Glogowski

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Why did the little boy want to sleep with his parents in their bed on the only night in weeks they'd planned to have sex? His bedroom was on fire.

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What do you calla baby nailed to a wall? Art.

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A man fell in a hole. He's dead now...

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I went to church.. i didn't get raped. I went to school... I didn't get raped. I went into a back alley... I didn't get raped. I went home... I didn't get raped. Today was better than yesterday...

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Texas! You are doing it the wrong way! Learn from Hitler, gas is cheaper.

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Why did the man get a DUI? Because he was driving under the influence.

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CJISTHEBEST Sticks and stones may break my bones because i have osteoperosis.

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Q: Why did the plane crash? A: The pilot was a potato.

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Which came first the chicken or the egg? The egg. Chickens evolved from their pre-historic ancestors who each laid an egg with a slight genetic mutation until one egg contained what is now classified as the modern chicken.

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ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ now I know my ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ no I know my ABC etc:

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Two friends are arguing over who is the best pie maker. '' I've made pumpkin, apple, peach, cherry, blueberry, and sweet potato!" " Yeah well I've made all of those AND pecan!'' ''Yeah well have you ever made boysenberry pie?!" "No! What the hell!" *in a calm tone* " Yeah, me neither."

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being hit by a plane.

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What's worse then your pets death? I don't know I asked you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops