What did the drunk man say to his wife? "I love you, Honey"

A man in a wheelchair walked into a bar. No he didn't.

One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and then the final bell rung. The fight began and the challenger says, "Hey whats the one thing you say when you don't want to fight anymore and you let the other person win?" The other guy says to the challanger, "I give up?" Then the challenger yells. "I WIN!"

A. Big feet, you know what that means B. He has to order his shoes on line because they don't carry his size in stores.

interviewer: young man, do you think you can handle a variety of work? Young man: I ought to be able to. I’ve had 12 different jobs in 4 months.

What's worse than AIDS Nothing can possibly be worse than finding out you have AIDS

Why did the kid lay down? Because his legs were chopped off

If Hellen Keller could meet Obama, what would she say? Nothing.

A rapist, black guy, and a homophob walk into a bar and the bartender says nice game last night kobe.

Want to hear a joke? Women's rights.

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

Why did my car stop suddenly? I had arrived at my appropriate destination.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had two penises.

Why do Jews have such large noses? Hereditary genetics.

Why was the boy sad? Because his pet bird couldn't fly. Why couldn't the bird fly? Because it was dead.

When life gives you lemons, squeeze them in someone's eyes.

Hi... your father has testicular cancer and he will die in 2 months....

What do you call a two headed platypus? Go ask him, I'm sure he has a name.

How many amish does it take to change a lightbulb? Presumably only one, but since they do not generally use electricity it has yet to be tested.

What did the penguin wearing a blue sweater say to the sink? I am a penguin wearing a blue sweater.

What's the best part about the school burning down? All the children trapped inside never had to grow up

So a train conductor is going at 70 mph to to a destination 50 miles away. He goes over 3 hills, one at 20 mph, the other 42 mph, and the last at 63 mph. He crosses 2 bridges at 47 mph each. What did the train conductors mom eat for dinner that night Nothing she had cancer and died.

A black man and a white man crash their cars. they promptly exchange insurance information and apologize to each other about the inconvenience.

John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt has a really long name.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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