Why can't Abraham Lincoln tell a lie? Because he's dead.

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Q: What do you get when you have water, sodium C14-16 olefin sulfonate, glycerin, disodium lauroamphodiacetate, polysorbate 20, cocamidopropyl, betaine, PEG-6 Phenoxyethanol, PPG-15 Stearyl, Ether, Citric Acid, isocateth-20, Fragrance, Methylparaben, Tetrasodium EDTA, Xanthan Gum, Propylparben, Ethylparagen, and Camelia Sinensis Leaf Extract? A: All New Clean & Clear Oil Free Make-up Dissolving Foaming Cleanser.

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A white guy, a black guy, an Asian guy, and a Hispanic guy walks into a bar. The white guy orders a beer, the black guy orders a shot of vodka, the Asian guy orders a sake, and the Hispanic guy orders a shot of tequila. They were drinking and having a great time.

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How do you get a clown off a swing? You kill him with an axe

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jack and jill climbed up the hill but they were bagels

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What's taters, precious? The potato is a starchy, tuberous crop from the perennial Solanum tuberosum of the Solanaceae family.

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person 1: Do you have a christmas necklace I could borrow for a party? person 2: I have a one with a leprechaun.

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Heyy everyone text this number 320-510-3277 Kay ask him why he poops the bed at age 17 .. His name is mike geier.. Haha

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When you see birds flying in a V why is one side of the V always longer than the other? There are more birds on that side

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What did the apple say to the orange? Nothing, fruit can't talk.

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Doctor doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains!" "Never-mind that, you've got AIDS.

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What's dark, has an opening, and guys like to go in it. A cave

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Why does everybody look at the foreign boy strangely? Because he was ugly

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Who looks like Bill Cosby, Smells like Bill Cosby, But isn't Bill Cosby? An imposter who should be sent to jail.

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Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left it!

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How many cats would it take to change a lightbulb? Cats can't change lightbulbs

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whats the difference between a black baby and a white baby? thier skin tone.

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What did the deaf-blind kid with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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An anteatter walks into a bar, the bar tender says "hey renee zellweger"

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There's a Mexican and a black guy in a car... Who's driving? The Cop!!!

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you know why they're called ear wigs, right? cause they go in your ears! then they wig out? no, they kill you.

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why did sally drown? because she had no arms or legs and couldn't swim

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I was going to write a joke about procrastination, but I haven't gotten to it yet.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a gun, get in the van.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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