What's the difference between a Jew and a Fire extinguisher? One puts out a fire the other one fuels it.

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A bloke runs into the bank, says to the girl "Stick 'em up!" She says "Righty-o, matey" and sellotapes his bollocks to the ceiling.

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What do you call a KKK member? ...racist

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It's weird how two of the SAME jokes can get different ratings.

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What did the dinosaur say to the other dinosaur? I don't know, dinosaurs have been extinct for 200 million years.

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yo mama so old that back in her school she didnt have history class

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What happened when Glen jumped off a building? The rope snapped his neck. He died.

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What did one dinosaur say to the other? Nothing and if you think dinosaurs talk you might need to be diagnosed for having Schizophrenia. Invega is a subtle treatment.

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Why did the chinese doctor get fired? Because he was involved in a malpractice suit.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side!

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What color is a red house Red What color is a blue house Blue What color is a white house White What color is a green house Clear

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Justin with a hat.

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A boy and his dad are in bed and his dad is telling him a story. And the cow told the farmer to get out of the bar. Now, what did the farmer say? Holy shit a talking cow!

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How do you make a baby fit in a bottle? Blender.

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Scenario: Two guys are out hunting. Two guys are walking and a one falls down. The other calls 911 and the guy still standing asks what to do. The person at the hospital told him to make sure his friend was dead, then heard a gunshot. The guy who called said "Now what do I do?"

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Q: What is the first thing you do if you wake up and meet the entire justice league(!!!) Which tells you that you are the "chosen one" and that only you can save the world once your true powers awaken? A: Increase your schizo medication.

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What's long, hard and full of semen? A penis

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The teacher asked her class "What is 42 + 17?" Several hands were flung into the air. "71!" said Billy excitedly. "No, I'm sorry that is incorrect." said the teacher. "67!" shouted Carl at the top of his lungs. "Incorrect!" said the teacher. Then little Johnny raised his hand. "The answer is 69" he said full of intellectual delight. "Very good." said the teacher.

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Why did the feminist complain? that's what they do

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what kind of dog can tiptoe

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have to go to the bathroom

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Why didn't LeBron James go to college? Because the opportunity to secure millions of dollars in salary straight out of high school was too lucrative for him to pass up.

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what has hair? Organisms, or at least most do.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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