What do you think when you see an asian woman behind the wheel of a car? She's very attractive.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead. why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? because it was stapled to the first monkey? why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? peer pressure.

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Why is jordan goldstein a fag cause he doesnt like my videos

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Where did the taxi driver put his suitcase down? celery

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Me: How can you tell if somebody's a Nazi? Friend: How? Me: Their killing people in a ghetto. Friend: My friend was shot in a ghetto. Me: So, does that make him a Jew? Friend: No, he was just killed in a big ass oven.

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You wanna hear a joke? The 19th amendment. Just kidding, women are actually a very valued part of our society. Just kidding again.

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I remember my days you know in the army, agfanifuckingstan, got dirty water, then spent a week shitting... Anyway, I was holding a grenade right? And then two of them came around and I was like "here come good boy! GOOOD BOY! Catch the ball!" And then I pulled the pin and threw it. Aww shut up, you are all like "YOU SOLDIER KILL PUPPIES!" NO THOSE WHERE KIDS! And they would have been like 15 today and been killing your men today! YOU ARE SO FUCKING WELCOME!

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Q: Whats 5+5 A:10

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Good afternoon.

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What's worse than public speaking? Public masterbation. *Spelled it wrong purposly to bypass the filter*

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is a registered sex offender

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What's white, wet, and sticky? A tissue that I just blew my nose with.

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Q. What has four legs, but can't walk? A. A dog dying of a serious illness...

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Knock Knock .....................Oh it was just the TV

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What's worse; twelve babies in one trash can or one baby in twelve trash cans?

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Whats's the similarities between an apple and a cat? They both have legs except for the apple.

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Why did the boy cry when he got a new puppy? Because he had anal seepage coming out his ass

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Whats green? Mountain Dew.

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How many Americans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Well thats a stupid question, just one.

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What happens when you take a break from reality? Nothing, it's impossible, unless you live in a virtual world.

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What happened when the zombie walked into the blonde lady convention? He went home hungry.

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Roses are red, Violets at blue. My mind is twisted, Bend over bitch your about to get fisted.

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If i was a painting... Id hang myself

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Why didn't the boy want his dinner? Because it was a bowl of vomit.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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