whats brown and sticky? whatever is coming from your pants

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Two guys went into a bar and started drinking. After sometime one guy said to the other, "I love your mother.I want to marry her." The other guy said,"Come on dad,you have been drinking too much."

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What's the difference between a microwave and hamster? They're both furry except for the microwave

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Why is my lawn red? Because i forgot to tell my neighbor's children to move

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This is a haiku Haikus are not really jokes Congratulations!

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Knock knock Who's there? Dishes Dishes who? Dishes a bad joke

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what did the guy say when his partner took a poop on his chest? It was unnecessary for you to deficate onto my chest. In no way at all was that sexually stimulating, and i shall consider seeking out a new partner.

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You always hear of the 9/11 stories where people who work in the World Trade Centers were late that day or home sick or whatever. My mom also worked there. It was a normal morning, got up to make us breakfast, got us to school on time, the whole bit. After having to do all that stuff, she actually got to work on time, and she died in the attack.

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Why did little Billy fall off his bike? Anwser: because a refridgator hit him.

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There are three muffins sitting in an oven. The first one says nothing. The second one also says nothing. They're just muffins and muffins can't talk.

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whats sad about a ton of blacks in a limo going off a cliff. they'll destroy the car

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When life gives you lemons you have lemons.

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Why don't you see elephants find in trees? Because most trees can't hold an elephants weight.

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What did the Japanese kid get for his birthday? Nothing, his gifts were washed away.

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Two men walk into a bar. You would think the second man would have seen it. Made by Bobbie Pummel

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What's the only part of a vegetable you cant eat? The wheelchair

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What did the farmer say to the other farmer? We are both farmers.

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Why was six afraid of seven? He was wanted for murder.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Her father beat her

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What do a helicopter and a banana have in common? They are both edible. Except for the helicopter.

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Boy 1: Hey do you want my last chewing gum? Boy 2: Yeah please! Boy 1: Same. The boy continues to eat the chewing gum and finishes his shit wandering why the boy walked into the same cubicle as him.

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How do you confuse a conspiracy theorist? Tell them the government is not real.

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Oh na na not today Oh na na maybe tommrow

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Why did Little Jimmy cross the road? Little Jimmy doesnt have arms and legs, silly, he cant cross the road.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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