Dad, they tell me I am a slowpoke at school, what can I do? ... Eh son, this is mommy, your dad died ten years ago remember?

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Why did Jorge eat Larry's face? He was on bath salt.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is an active member of a taliban.

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Q. you know who is so sad A. you for looking up a site for jokes that aren't even good

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he had poor coordination.

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How do you catch wet wood on fire? Ask a business owner in Ferguson, MO, to keep it in their store.

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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what is long hard and full of seamen......... A sumbirine..........................(what were you thinking)

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Roses are red Violets are blue If i gave a rats ass I'd worry about you

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Their is a stripper, a prostitute, and a pole dancer on a plane that is about to crash. They all die.

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how do you wake up lady gaga? you set her alarm for the intended time

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Why did the blonde flunk out of school? Because she was a fucking idiot.

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how do u get a blonde to stay away from her credit card... i dont know im blonde

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You're so fat, that a picture of you fell off the wall.

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Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

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why did the husband always work late nights? he needed the extra hours to provide for his family

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What's funny about your mom? Nothing, she died three weeks ago.

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What did the guy and girl do at the wedding? Nothing, The guy is gay

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How many guys does it take to change a light bulb? Probably just one.

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Why did little timmy cry? He was nailed to a ceiling fan.

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Q: Where did little Suzie go during the bombing? A:Everywhere

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What do you say if you see a monkey driving a car? Nothing , you run away because primates are incapable to have motor skill and will probably crash within the next 50 feet

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roses are red and have big balls woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

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When the loaf of bread crashed the car the wife was mad. What do you think she did? She put Nutella on him toasted him and then ate him

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops