How do you make a baby float? 1 can root bear 2 scoop baby

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Hey dude, wanna come with me!!!! Sure, where? ON YOUR FACE!!!!!! -_- ........ok sure why not

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Q. If Kim Kardashian and Kanye West were both drowning, what kind would you make? A. PBJ

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whats the best thing ever to happen to chuk norris ? he was born !!!!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. So was my son after I beat him to death.

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How does a girl with no arms swing on the swing? She doesn't, she has no arms.

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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What's green and has four wheels? A dolphin. I lied about it having four wheels. I lied about it being green. I lied about the whole thing.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? One of them you crack open with a sledgehammer and feast upon, and the other is a dead baby.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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Why couldn't the child with down syndrome zip up their jacket.... it was a button jacket ... you asshole

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What smells bad and is black, A very dirty dead decomposing body.

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What did one cannibal say to the other while they were eating a clown? Well, I couldn't understand them... It's hard to pronounce anything clearly when your mouth is full, which is why you don't eat and speak simultaneously.

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-What do you call it when a female and male are together? - A very serious relationship.

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Why did the armadillo fall off the cliff?

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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U mad?

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How do you kill a ninja? Shoot it.

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What's sad about a dead person? He was my friend.

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Who invented chocolate? I don't know! Keep it to yourself.

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Roses are Red You're Black and Blue My fists seemed to have taken A liking to you

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Q: What has two legs and is bloody? A: half a cat

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What do you call a man with a fork stuck in his head? A man with a fork stuck in his head

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard you throw them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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