how do you get out of a room with no windows or doors? you don't.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you thro them

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whats worse than being cold? having a pine cone shoved up your ass.

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Why are Ethiopians so fast? Because antelope are also very fast.

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yo' Mamma's so fat when she stepped on the scale, she said "hey, that's my phone number"!

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What did your mom make me for Christmas... ...An apple pie because she is a very nice lady

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Why did Timmy fall off his bike? Someone threw a brick at him!

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whats your name whats the color of the sky whats the oppisite of down

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A man and his horse walk into a bar, he is told to leave because animals are not allowed on the property

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Q:How many Elephants can you fit in a Audi quatro? A:It just sits on a leaf and waits for the autumn... Moral: Just sits on a three and waits for it to turn into four.

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And Stephen Hawking said.

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Q: How did the black man cross the Atlantic? A: He flew with an airliner, a large fixed-wing aircraft for transporting passengers and cargo.

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What do cats eat for breakfast? Cat food.

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What is Oedipus' favorite tv show! How I Met Your Mother

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he was very hungrey and saw some seed on the other side.

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Wanna know what makes me smilee? Facial Muscles

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Which came first the chicken or the egg? The egg because if a chicken came first then that means chickens magically appeared. Eggs however may change over time through evolution by a common ancestor because after millions of years of hatching, it slowly mutated by natural selection and became to what is now known as the domestic chicken. (Applause)

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A pregnant woman walked into a bar what did she say? Can i have a drink

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If I give you 5 dollars, and you give me 5 dollars, then we both still have 5 dollars, which when combined will equal 10 dollars. Meaning we could buy something that cost's 10 dollars or less. But we should probably also factor in tax, so we should only buys something that costs a little over 9 dollars.

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Whats the difference between a dead baby and a porsche? i don't have i dead baby in my garage. That would be wrong

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What happens every 5 seconds? An African kid dies.

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Lets just say that we are beyond the stage where I am "just" trying, by the way, you might want to search that last comment for double negatives. Or you know NOT NOT. Do not take my word for it, but if I am not wrong, the bacteria (yogurt) leaves afterwards, so you are eating milk that has been eaten and then.. You know... A common "side effect" of hypnosis, is that when it is used, the one hypnotized (both in this case) end up feeling a "strange" case of closeness, stronger bonds, friendship etc, scientists wonder why... ITS LIKE DUH! WE BOTH REVEAL DEEP SECRETS TO EACH OTHER! THINGS WE DO NOT EVEN USUALLY TELL OURSELVES! Its a literal no brainer, scientits can go fuck themselves, because as far as I know, thats the only fuck they ever get.

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sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssLOLIAMINTHESIDEBAR:Dyouaregaylol

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Where do you find a good lawyer? In the cemetary

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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