How do you get 4 Jews in a car? Open the door and tell them politely to get in.

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I took my mum for a big shop the other day, we used the parent and child spot, not like there's an age range on it. - Peter Kay Try parking in the furthest spot away from the shop and you might burn some calories. -Me

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Why did Princess Diana cross the road? Because she wasnt wearing a seat belt.

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LeBron James proposes. So what does he put on the girls finger? Ben L.

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How do you tell the difference between a bomb and an Asian? One blows up.

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A middle-class family went away on vacation. While they were gone, a pyromaniac burnt down their house. Their cat was still inside.

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Ahem. Testicles. That is all.

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A man walks into a bar and says he has a talking dog. He is then taken to a mental hospital and diagnosed with schizophrenia.

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What's the difference between a black man and a bag of crap? Quite a bit. The black man is a human male of the Kingdom Animalia, while the bag is an inanimate object. The only similarity between them would be that they both contain organic matter.

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What did the blue man say to the red lady? Do you want to make purple? -A.M.M

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Why are birds purple? because it fits the sky why are bats purple? bats aren't purple

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How are cars made? By magic.

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why is six afraid of seven? because seven is a jew!

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? It didn't. She was capable of loving and caring for a dog.

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what did the crocodile say to the fish? OMNOMNOMNOMNOM!! and then the fish swam away because of the the weird noise the crock was making...

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Q: What's funny about a gay man being raped by men for being gay? A: The man's personality

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Why did Billy fail his math quiz? Because he's stupid.

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How do you confuse Hellen Keller? You write a really difficult riddle in braille and tell her to solve it.

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Why did the cat throw up on the couch? because it was nauseous!

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Okay, but cut me some slack here, its not as straight forward as it sounds, I got at least twice as many active synapses as other people do, that means twice the thought process, in video games I can for example remember twice the commands, and such. Sadly this does not mean that I can think twice as fast or twice as smart, but rather that I do so involuntarily in short spans, until I burn myself out. So be a bit nice to me, when I say that I have since I was a kid used about 2.5-7.5 mg valium, this is just because my thought process works so fast I burn out because well, I got the processor, but it burns out, excuse me my wife needs some help with her cellphone, see you soon

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Why was Little Billy sad? Because he got shot.

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Why does an actor enjoy his work so much? Because it’s all play.

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i have to tell you a knock knock joke. but you have have to start it..

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cuz he does what he wants.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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