what do you call cheese that's not yours? cheese that you stole.

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What do you get when you cross a turtle and a kangaroo? A hybrid combination of the two that is characterized by specific traits of both animals.

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Your mom is so fat that she has type 2 diabetes.

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A policeman walks into a bar. He goes inside to greet his friend who happens to be the bartender. Another man walks into the bar. This man is a regular customer and goes to the bar almost every other night. The policeman leaves and goes back on duty.

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*Knock Knock* Who's there? Abbott! Abbott who? Abbott time you answered the door! The door was never answered because they did not know the person at the door.

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I called this hot girl up from class one day. She told me to come over because no one was home. I got to her house, and no one was home.

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Abstract thinking part one of... One: What kind of idiot tries to run trough a wall, rather than to just use the door? The "Idiot" is in a cell whose walls are made of thin wood plates, the door is made of steel and locked. How I cured my own damn anxiety five hundred of one: Now this is real see? I got stressed, damn it was like something that was not me but my body scared as shit began fearing for its life right my arms shaking like fuck sweat and all that crapa? So I got pissed got in front of the mirror, stared at myself and shouted "GODDAMN BODY YOU THINKS YOU CAN CONTROL ME? IF YOU DO NOT STOP BEING SO FUCKING AFRAID OF DEATH! THEN I WILL KILL YOU MYSELF!" So yeah unconventional indeed, but it worked for five times, and I never had to use it anymore. Moral: My own body and every fucking cell of it, is not the only one that fears me more than death.

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whats bloody and mingen Scabbaz head

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How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen do? Enough to compromise his health and career

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Four men were walking, and three of them walked into a bar. The fourth one ducked.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Why are there no aspirin factories in the Amazon Rainforest? Because it would be unprofitable to build a factory that requires a large workforce in an uninhabited area.

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A man walks into a bar, and says ouch.

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What did the UPS man bring Sara? a box. whats inside it is only Sara's buisness

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your mothers so silly she saw a rock and sat on a chair.......?

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Knock knock. Who's there? Knock. Knock who? Knock knock.

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Why did the hamster not eat it's food? Because it wasn't hungry.

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Whats white and bad for your teeth? A refridgerator

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Two babies wonder off from their home. They die of starvation because there parents could not find them in time.

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roses are red violets are blue you're an orphan, had to break the news...sorry little fella.

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What's black and white and red all over? Nothing, becuse if something is red all over it cannot be black nor white.

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Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his head

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Why did the monkey fall off the tree? It died.

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bryden is a faggot

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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