A man walked into a bar with his friend. He drinks a certain amount of beers, and has his friend safely drive him home.

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Why did the kid have no arms? A clown came and chopped them off.

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You are pretty bad emulations, first of all you should all swear and cuss a lot, that way you never get green thumbs and you all get minimal attention (negative attention) from people whose messages do not concern. I mean come on, if you are all different, you gotta admit that you are all good at typing like the very same person, its just that, none of them are good at sounding as the guy they are trying to emulate.

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Alright then, call me sometime then.

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If a tree falls in the forest, and only a deal man is there at the time, does it make a sound? And what are his odds of not being trapped under it, awaiting rescue?

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sky's the limit said the tree a.w. j.p.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I can not rhyme, Show me your tits

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If Jimmy has $5, and he finds $20 on the street, how much money does Jim have? None. He was mugged by a black man.

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Who saw 9/11 as a miracle? The undertakers

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A Muslim walked into a bar....nothing happened

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Jake was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really angry. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds and it better be there!!" The next morning he got up early and told his wife to come to the driveway. His wife looks down and sees a scale.

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Q:what word starts with "p" and ends with "orn"? A: popcorn

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What's the difference between a truckload of bowling balls and a truckload of dead babies? You can't unload a truckload of bowling balls with a pitchfork.

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What made people stop likeing Ice tea? Ice-T

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Q: What did the Black man say to the kool ade Man? A: You're not real -BonkersLive

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An Irishman, an American, an Australian, a Chinese man, a Turk, a Brazillian, a Canadian, a Jew, an African, a German, a Mexican, a Norweigian, a Swede, a Spaniard, a Russian and an Indian walk into a bar.

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Q:How do you confuse a blonde preschooler? A:Calculus.

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How do you kill a bolonde? You have her/him do an algebra problem.

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What do you call a kid on crutches? Crippled

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poopoo

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Why did the kid get out of school at twelve? He left early with a stomach ache

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Q:what's black and white and red all over? A:a panda bear that's been shot in the face.

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"knock knock" "whos there" "poop" "poop who" "poop in the toilet"

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Q: what is white and can't climb trees? A: A refrigerator

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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