- Anti Joke

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck had AIDS?

Why do Vampires Sparkle in the Sunlight? They don't read a proper Vampire Novel and see for yourself.

Yo mamas so tan she might get skin cancer

I swear to god it wasn't me! Dont swear to god its a sin !

That's what SHE said!

what happens when u mix a car, a blimp and a plane? I don't know.

Q. Why did the woman fall out of the tree? A. Cause she got laid

Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

So there are 5 people on a plane the president, a movie star, and man who is on the verge of making world peace, the smartest man in the world, and the pope the piolt has a heart atack at and the plane will crash soon there are only 4 parachutes. So the first is Obama and he saysI won a Nobel piece prize and I run American see ya later and he takes the parachute next Steven hawking says sory pope Im taking this because I don't believe in God and black holes are cool so he takes the parachute and jumps out. Next Charlie Sheen says I need to entertain people and keep the drug dealers in business so he. Takes the parachute and jumps out. Then Francis turns to the hippie and says if you achive world peace it may help eliminate some poverty so you take the last paratute and jump out then the hippie says in return no its OK Steven Hawking took my back back. When they land they decide to serch for Steven's body and they find nothing. You see Steven Hawking had taken his own paratute with him and took the Hippies backpack to sell it and make some money

How many Jews does it take to fix a light bulb? Four, one to take the light bulb out, one to put a new in, one to hold the ladder, and one to hold the guy holding the ladder

Why can't George Washington drive? Because he died!

What did the Ocean say to the Sky? Nothing, it just waved.

your momma is so fat that she thinks someone hugs her each time she passes through a door

A man stepped on a nail. He died shortly after of lockjaw.

What did God say when he mad another black guy? Danmit i burnt one again.

What do you call a man who has been run over by a car? An Ambulance

1 little monkey jumping on the bed, he fell off and hit his head. Momma called the doctor and the doctor said, "Your son died of a concussion."

Whats funnier than the Holocaust? Nothing.

What's the difference between your cat and mine? Yours has legs.

THAT MAN EATS TOO MUCH. therefore he is overweight.

one day i went to bed

Why do gay guys like push pops? Because they are a delicious lollipop treat.

How do you stop a baby alien from crying? Watch what its mother does to soothe it and then try and copy that.

Aaaaakkkkkiiiiiinnnnfffffeeeeennnnnwwwwaaaa

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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