A viking walks into a bar, and orders 6 beers. the man working asks "why did you order so many beers?" the viking says"because one for me 6 brothers who were separated from me many years ago." then he leaves. the next morning the viking walks into the bar, and orders 5 beers.the man working says"im sorry for your loss." the viking says"what? oo no im just getting tierd of drinking!'

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Roses are red, violets are blue, i suck at poetry, show me your tits!

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Why did the kid cry? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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Knock knock I don't play games, go away! Knock knock How did you get in my house? Knock knock Stay back I have a weapon! Knock knock What are you!!! Knock knock Oh god, someone please help! Knock knock What do you want, I can give you money. Knock knock Just don't hurt my family, please. Knock knock!!! WHO'S THERE!!! I am.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Pete. I'm here to tell you that your entire family just died in a car accident.

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If I threw a regular snowball at a random snowman, would my action directly result in the increase of the snowman's size or would it rather have caused to snowball to become substantially larger in succession? Only a few people could answer that question. Not all of us are actually philosophy aficionados after all.

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What's the difference between jam and jelly? Jam is slightly more viscous and may contain bits of fruit.

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Knock knock Who's there? No one Cool

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when does lady gaga wake up? when she dreams about a bad romance

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It wa Jerry's first day of kindergarten He pulled out a .44 magnum and shot himself under the chin where he was instantly dead... Yes, dead

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violets are red my name is bob this poem makes no sense microwave

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. Apparently he can walk now.

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A pig and an elephant walk into a bar. But the pig doesn't even make it into the bar because the mentaly insane elephant ate him. Ouch

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Knock Knock Who's there? I said who's there? The man opens the door to find there was no one there and begins to shake in fear as his schizophrenia is getting worse.

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Why'd the duck cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock! Who's there? The duck.

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Roses are red. Violets are red. My thumb is red because I accidentally put it in the toaster.

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rosses are red voilets are pinkey your mams pussy is really stinky

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What did the watermelon say to the apple? Nothing. Watermelons are fruits and incapable of speech.

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Whats pink and fluffy? Pink fluff

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Q: What do you call a black guy with an air plane? A: A pilot you racist bastard!

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Why did Sally fall off the swing set? Because she had no arms or legs. Knock knock. Whose there? Not Sally.

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What's it called when Justin Bieber has sex? Sex. The specific person partaking in sexual intercourse does not change the term used to describe it.

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why did hellen keller kiss a girl? another blind date

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did you know, that a Bear has 42 teeth? massive erection.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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