How do you make a ninja fly a plane? You put a gun to his head and say fly this plane.

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because it most likely saw a shiny object and wanted to play with it. Luckily there was no cars passing at the time but the parents should be more careful to keep thier child in sight and away from peril. That and the baby found a small piece of glass that could be harmful to it....

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Andy Carrol

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When someone throws a rock at you What do you say? A:Oww

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There was a man sinking in quick sand. He looked in the sky and said, "God, if you spare my life, I'll be a great person and believe in you all my life." He died.

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A blonde walks into a bar. She just graduated university and thought she would celebrate with a beer.

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EGGPLANT

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what is the difference between a park bench and a black guy? the park bench is an inanamite object and doesn't have feelings

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What's red and green and goes 100 mph? A fast car that's painted red and green...

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Roses are red, viotels are blue. God made me pretty, what happened to you?

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Q: What do you call a man from south korea? A: I don't know, but I'm not letting him drive my car.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Not again!"

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Why didn't Kurt Cobain drive to work on Monday? He killed himself.

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What did the blind football player say to his coach? I cant see

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What is yellow, smooth, and dangerous? Shark-infested custard

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why did suzy drop her ice cream? she got hit by a bus. knock knock! who's there? not suzy.

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How can you tell if someones gay? You ask them.

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How do you catch wet wood on fire? Ask a business owner in Ferguson, MO, to keep it in their store.

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A large man goes into a restaurant and places his order The waiter asks if he would like the weight watchers menu He says no because he doesnt care about his weight

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What's worse than finding a worm in you apple? The holocaust.

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Why did the chicken cross the street? I would rather live in a world a chicken's motives would not be questioned.

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What's worse than dropping an ice cream cone? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Dropping two ice cream cones.

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Do you have emotional issues, ever have a really bad day and just wanna talk call this number (402-314-5287) < N1GGER

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? Chuck Noris

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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