Why does Nathan Rogers never get any pussy? Because goblins have small dicks

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I can't see my forehead

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What did the person with down syndrome do? He mumbled for a while, chewed on his thumb, fell flat on his face, and died.

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There is a bomb. It blows up and kills 26 people.

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why did the lesbians shop at modell's? because they thought the store had reasonable prices and considerable discounts

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knock knock who's there Berry Joe Berry Joe who? I just told you, Berry Joe. oh.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Where was Andy Beckett WHEN THE LIGHTS WENT OUT? In the dark

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1. In 2010, 8.8 million people fell ill with Tuberculosis. 2. Up to 70,000 children died in 2010 due to Tuberculosis. 3. Tuberculosis is the leading killer of people living with HIV with 1.4 million deaths. 4. Death from Tuberculosis has dropped 40% since 1990. 5. No country has ever eliminated Tuberculosis entirely. 6. About 46 million Tuberculosis patients have been successfully treated since 1995. 7. Children under 5 years old rarely get the disease. 8. Edgar Allen Poe’s mother, foster mother, and wife all died of Tuberculosis. 9. It can take up to 12 months to recover from Tuberculosis. 10. People with tuberculosis have symptoms such as cough that “won’t go away”, a cough that brings up blood, a fever lasting longer than 2 weeks, night sweats, fatigue, or noticeable amounts of acute weight loss. 11. Nearly 2 million people die from tuberculosis yearly. 12. Tuberculosis kills 5,000 people daily.

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There is a new film coming out, it is a re-make of "Fatal Attraction" The only difference is, it is about two tonnes of antimatter... [L]

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Neither does he.

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why does one side of a v-flock of geese have more birds? Because it does.

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Bill: Whats 2 + 2? Joe: Your mom

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What do Alexander the Great and Kermit the Frog have in common? Their middle name.

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KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? seriously all my friends r jerks n break the door down...wow ur polite....um ok WHO'S THERE? THE REAPER oh sh** dude! NO ONES HOME! "in other news this evening, two local men found dead on theyre living room floors. Police say the front door was smashed in...an obvious sign of forced entry. The two men were apparently reading a webpage called anti-joke before suddenly having an unexplained heart attack and dieing....heh heh hey nancy...why did the chicken cross the road? because he thuroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic." "HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.......GASP! GA FA! GAA *gargle*" "wow...in other OTHER news i just killed nancy...."*runs* JOKES KILL >:}

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What is the difference between a blonde and a Mexican? Their hair color.

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Why did they monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the monkey.

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What do u call two mexicans playing basketball? Juan on Juan!

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I'M THE GRAPIST!! I'M GONNA GRAPE UR MOM AND UR DAD AND UR WHOLE FAMILY!!!

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How come Michael Jackson couldn't get into the petting zoo? It was closed.

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Why did the kid give a bad presentation in class? He knew basically nothing about the topic, and on top of that had a large erection.

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I just farted, and now I have to Chit!

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What's the difference between a black man and a white man, a white man has lighter skin

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Why couldn't the white child dunk the basketball? His legs were amputated and he has been confined to a wheelchair.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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