How do you protect yourself from fire? Kill an orphan and nail its bones to your skin.

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What dud the baseball player do when he struck out? Walked back to the bench

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a terrorist.

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What did the cat say to the dog? Nothing, animals are in capable of formal cumunication.

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Are you gay? No. Ok.

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <<

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What do you call a dog eating a dead dog? A hungry dog

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Why didn't the black guy where a seat belt? I don't know but he should've because hes dead.

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Two people are walking down the street, unaware of the highly polluted environment and that they could save a life.

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one day i went to bed

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What did the blind orphan get for christmas? Cancer

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Knock Knock Who's there? F F who? F you.

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Dylan Hodge fingered himself. Hah.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because the walk sign said to

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What'f funny and has 8 wheels? The Holocaust, I lied about the wheels

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what do you call a grown man who sticks food up his nose? retarded

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what did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? Were both lawyers!

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JOHN to MARY: Roses are red Violets are blue Sugar is sweet So are you MARY to JOHN: Roses are red Violets are blue Who are you? JOHN to MARY: Roses are red I'm your husband MARY to JOHN: No! JOHN to MARY: WHAT??? MARY to JOHN: Ex Awkward silence. Mary moves out the next day.

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There's a plane with 5000 bricks in it, one falls out. How many bricks are on the plane now? 4999 How do you get an elephant in the fridge? U open the fridge,put the elephant in and close the fridge. How do you get a deer in the fridge? Open the fridge, take the elephant out and close the fridge. A lion is trowing a party and the whole animal kingdom shows up, what animal isn't there? The deer cause he's still in the fridge. A little old lady is walking threw an alligator and snake invested swamp. *The snakes and alligators eat her (wrong answer) The brick falls on her head

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimer's I have Alzheimer's

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why can't helen keller drive? Because she is deaf and blind.

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Hey guess what! We're birthday buddies! May 3rd.. Yeah that's why you should give me 5 bucks.

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The skeleton walks into a bar. Everyone is confused and leaves.

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The cat climbed a tree. It didn't want to come down, so it starved to death.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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