A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender can you throw me a beer and the bartender says yes and he throws him the beer and the man says I can't catch I have the smallest hands in the world and the bartender says go across the street there is a guineas book of world record store an check if you h e the smallest hands and he does so the next day he goes back and asks for another beer and the bartender throws him a beer and say I cant catch cause I have the smallest feet in the world and he goes across the street and checks and he does and then the third day he goes back to the bar and asks for a beer and the bartendor throws him another beer and says I can't catch I have the smallest penis in the world so he goes to the guiness book o world record store and then goes bac to the bar and asks..... Who's austin bell?????

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My wife asked me to prepare our son for his first day of school. He's a ginger so I punched him in the face, and stole his lunch money.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had two penises.

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jack and jill went up the hill to get a bucket of water. jack fell down and broke his ankle and neck severely. jack and jill were taken away from their parents by child services, and their parents are charged for child endangerment and child labor.

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John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt has a really long name.

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Why couldn't the mother make her son's funeral? She died in a car crash on the way there.

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Today I wanted to make world peace.... So I killed everyone.

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why couldn't the boy talk? Because he was dead

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A blonde was very smart, and nobody made fun of her when she sometimes made small mistakes like every other person regardless of hair color.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Pansies are purple, Nothing rhymes with purple.

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What is the similarity between Moses and Muhammad? They both have the same letter starting their names

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What's the difference between a book and a house? Their names

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whats funny? when isreal special forces hunted down nazis after ww2 and killed the fucks

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Knock knock Who's there? Jehovah's Witness

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What is the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa? Santa stops after 3 hos

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What happens when you die? Your body gets decomposed by bacteria

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9 + 10 = How much yo mama makes.

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Q: What do you call an Ethiopian on a food strike? A: An Ethiopian

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Words with two W's or N's in them are awkward and unnecessary.

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why did little johnny start choking? because somebody shoved a bag down his throat

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs, who got cancer for Christmas, get for his Birthday? Nothing, he didn't live that long.

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You can pick your friends you can pick your nose but you cant pick your friends nose.

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2 men walk into a bar, the 3rd man ducks and ask them if they're ok

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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