Your mom is soo fat that when God said "let there be light" he had to ask her to move

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What's 18 inches long and makes women scream? Crib death.

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What was Joe's old name? Joe, I lied about the old part.

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A apple a day is good for your overall health and you should schedule check ups with your doctor to maintain good health and avoid seeing him everyday.

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What do a duck and a bicycle have in common? They both have handlebars, except for the duck!

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So three ants are in a straight line. The first ant said there's an ant behind me, the second ant said there's an ant behind me, and the third ant said there's an ant behind me. Why is this? The third ant lied.

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What do elves get for Christmas? Overtime.

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did u ever hear a bird joke "no" hawkword

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What did peter griffin say to the black guy? Oh you are black.

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What isyellow and can't swim? a bulldozer

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There's an Irishman, a homo-sexual, and a Jew standing at a bar. What a fine example of an integrated community!

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Roses are Red Violets are blue I have short term memory loss Hey look thats my bike over there.

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What do you say to a black man in the morning? Good morning

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What happened to the man who went to a strip bar? What happens to all of us. He died.

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what do you call Tim Tebow on a bike with a clown hat on? Tim, Mr. Tebow whatever you want

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What is ET short for? Extra terrestrial

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You know the drill, the world is not as black and white as it was before, just because we are not on the same side, does not make us enemies either. As for whatever is going on, I can assure you I had nothing to do with the fall of the first underground, and neither will I make sure whatever you scraped together, large or small falls either, I realize I should have thought this trough some more, but we had little time to act on this one.

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What did the blind man say to his teacher? Nothing, blind people can't talk.

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how do you kill chuck norris? you dont, killing is illegal

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Before you insult a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you insult him, you'll be a mile away, and have his shoes.

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What do you call it when you almost win? You lose.

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Why was the man walking down the street late at night? Because he's homeless and has nowhere to stay.

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Why Cant michael J Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he is dying of Parkinson's disease.

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whats cold, blue and hard? a frozen blueberry.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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