What did the one Brick say to the other Brick? We have the same name.

Why couldn't the farmer drive his tractor He had no arms why didn't he have arms Because he was a potato

What happened to the gun that was jammed? It didn't shoot.

Laughter is the best medicine. Not for cancer.

Jerry: Why arent you talking to me Seth? Seth then explains using sign language that he was born mute and is offended that Jerry keeps forgetting. Then Jerry uses sign language to say" **** off i have alzheimers!"

Why did the chicken cross the road? It had gotten out of its coop.

If you are swimming in a tree how many dogs does it take to crack a duck? The answer is 4 because nothing rhymes with orange

How do you stop a train? You stand in front of it.

How many apes does it take to put in a light bulb 3

Q: How did Helen Keller cross the street? A: She walked.

Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

Q: How do you make Osama Bin Ladin happy? A: Take him out to a nice seafood dinner free of charge.

Q: What is red and smells like blue paint? A: Green paint.

What's Hitler's favorite drink? Jews (meaning juice)

How do you get four gay guys to sit on one barstool? It's quite difficult, it would be easier to just get 3 more barstools.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 brutally murdered 6's entire family.

Why did the man feel like he was flying? Because he had just committed suicide by jumping off of a tall building.

Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red Paint

what do u call a kid at school a school kid and i have enough of these anti jokes they are not funny

how do you make Will Smith cry? cut off his toes and fingers.

Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King. After being told politely that Big Macs were served at McDonald's and not Burger King, he walked out and drove to the nearest McDonald's.

roses are red violets are blue i need a pee and so do u

How many cops does it take to change a light bulb? None they would just beat the room for being black.

Cripples are lame.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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