The patient says, "Give me the bad news first!" Doctor replies, "You've got AIDS." "Oh, no! What could be worse than that?" asks the patient. "You've also got Alzheimer's Disease." Looking relieved the patient says, 'at least it shall be over quickly.'

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Why did the girl go to Jupiter? To get more stupider

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Man: Excuse me sir, is this where I turn in my library book? Farmer: You must be really lost, this is a farm.

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What do you call a dog with two tails? ...Depends on what you named it.

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Chuck Norris was so good at karate that he held the middle weight world title for 6 years and was named fighter of the year by Black Belt Magazine. He also used his talents to start a successful acting and advertising career.

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Wanna hear a joke about my penis? Oh wait I shouldn't tell you, it's too long

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Q: What present did the Taliban's wife get on the islamic holiday A: a beating

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What did hitler say to the jacket potato? Your fucked now!

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AntiJoke will not let me type this so I will add some spaces. N I G G E R.

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Why does Greg steal? Because he is a thief He is also scouse!

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WHY DONT WE HAVE BOTH?

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Why did billy fall off his bike? Because billy was a loaf of bread.

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A blond is on her way driving to the airport when she sees the sign "Airport left." She made a left turn and got to her flight on time.

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Why is the old lady crying? I threw a fridge at her.

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What did John say to Paul before they entered the car? "Paul, get in the car."

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him.

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guess what? bannanas

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Sarah: Knock knock. Jim: Who’s there? Sarah: It’s me, Sarah. Open the door. Jim: It’s me Sarah open the door who? Sarah: Please Jim, it’s freezing out here. Jim: That wasn’t a very funny joke, Sarah. Sarah: Shut the fuck up and let me in. Jim: Ok.

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A pogo stick. Just kidding. Cancer.

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What did the captain say to the priest? We're on a boat.

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Gay rights.

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What is a pedophile's favorite thing about twenty-six year olds? There are 20 of them.

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what's a snake that has no legs a snake

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What do you call a group of black people in a lamboghini..... Unlikely

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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