what smells like red paint, looks like red paint and is called red paint? A pear, i lied about everything i just said

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How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

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Q: What's red and bad for your teeth A: A brick

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How many women can fit on a bus? It depends on the size of the bus.

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How did the man break his arm raking leaves? He fell out of the tree.

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What's the difference between a red shirt and a blue shirt? one is red and one is blue

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What do you call someone who thinks they're funny but in reality isn't? Adam chapali Knock knock Who's there? NOT adam chapali

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Why did the girl make a sandwich for her boyfriend? Because she offered to make lunch in order to save money by not going to a restaurant.

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A man walks into a bar. He leaves a large rucksack by the pool table and walks out. The rucksack then explodes and kills 13 people because it is the height of the Troubles and the man is a member of the IRA, who targetted the bar because it is regularly visited by British servicemen. The media extensively cover the story, and the two sides of the conflict in Northern Ireland decide that the bloodshed must stop, which eventually made way to the Good Friday agreement of 1998.

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What is white and weighs twice as much as Shamoo? My ass.

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A man finds a lamp and rubs it and a genie pops out and says he'll grant him 3 wishes. The man says "I wish I had a trillion dollars for which I can buy whatever my heart desires" and poof he gets it. The man says "I wish I had a beautiful wife for which I can love forever till the end of time." and poof he gets it. Finally, his 3rd wish he says "I wish I have my own country for which I can rule as king and become the greatest ruler in history." and poof he gets it.

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What kind of movies do pirates like? They don't know, Somalia doesn't have much of a film industry.

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why did the kid strike out in baseball he had leprosy and his arms were amputated

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What do you say when you see a black guy? Hello,how are you today?

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What do you call 5 black people being killed in a car crash? A terrible incident

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How can a man go 8 days without sleeping? Sleep at night.

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There once was a mam from Peru He dreamed he was eating a shoe It wasn't... It was a goat

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Ask me if I'm an orange. Are you an orange? Nope! I'm a person! - SMC Digital

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Roses are red , Violets are blue You little dumb ass bitch Ain't fuckin' with yoouuuuuu

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WELCOME TO THE GARLIC BOYS SHOW! So kids, what are we gonna eat today? POTATOES! FUUUUUUU! Moral: You say tomata, I say WROOOOOOOONG, you say cheap I say your mother.

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What's green and can dance? A Cloud. I lied.

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a jew, a gay, and an irishman walk int a bar at different times during the span of 5 hours.

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Why couldn't John go to the store for his mother? He had no legs...

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My name is Jacob Mckeand and my penis is as long as Mr. Macs hair.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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