mary poppins' handbag is full of fuckin dick

Is this the Krusty Crab? Yes.

Twelve billion Nero, you puppy dog you hot blooded latino man. Why cant I control it myself?

What's black, white, and red all over?? A penguin that just got hit by a truck and is now struggling to live.

Why didn't the octopus have any friends? Because they are antisocial creatures by nature. -Louis

What do you call a popular rap and hip-hop artist? Tunde

why couldnt the african child eat enough food? he didnt have a mouth.

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread!

A:You wanna here a good anti joke B:Yeah/sure A:Me too

A guy dared his friend to jump off a bridge for 10 bucks. His friend, fearing for his life did not jump.

A duck walks into a bar. The bartender says what will it be? The duck replies "lemonade!"

What's green, has six legs and lives in the jungle? A Snooker Table.

What do you call a black man with a gun a soldier who is fighting for his country

What do you call a dog that has no legs? It doesn't matter because he will never come.

A frog walks up to Steve, and says "Hey, Steve." Steve is terrified because a frog knows his name, and is walking.

Hey i just met you and this is crazy but your adopted banana

What happened to the couple that got married? They went on their honeymoon.

A white man walks into a bar. Then he gets a beer.

why did the blonde put on a coat? because she was cold.

What is the sun's favorite day of the week? The sun is a mass of incadescent gas and cannot feel emotions; therefore, it cannot have a favorite day of the week.

I asked my wife to make me a sandwich. I had forgotten she was dead.

What is the difference between a baleen whale and a black guy? One speaks and one says EEEEEEERRRROOOOOWWOWOWOWOOWRR!

whats big and green and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? a snooker table

Why did the baby die? Lack of oxygenated blood to the brain.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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