Friend's are like pinguins, they both die when you stab them in the heart.

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Why did the cow cross the road? Cause he had madcow disease

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why wouldn't the man's car work? because it was broken.

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What has four legs and is always ready to travel? Siamese twin fugitives.

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Why don't birds cry when they get hurt, lose a loved one, or watch opera? How the f*** should I know.

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What did the white man say to the black bartender? I'll have a pint please.

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A man walked up to a fork in the road. He bent down, picked it up, and continued on his journey.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because it felt like it, now mind your own business!

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Boy: Why'd the chicken cross the road Mom: I don't know go ask the chicken

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What happend to the girl in the corner? Idk that's why I asked!! :P

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Q: Why did Sarah fall off the swings? A: She had no arms Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? it doesn't matter, it got turned into KFC before it crossed.

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Q: What do you say to a person in a wheelchair who fall downs the stairs? A: Nothing because most likely they would take an elevator.

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Why was David enjoying his cream of mushroom soup? Because David had spent the last 17 days eating flouescent light fix-ins.

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I had an amnesia joke But it was written down on a slip of paper because someone else wrote it down. Let me just take it out & read it to you

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The speakers on my computer were broken, so I was going to replace them with John Boehner. Because he is the SPEAKER of the house.

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If your dying how would you avoid getting eaten alive by sharks or rip to shreds by a T-Rex? Fall on a sword

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Why did the black man cross the road? he just wanted to cross the road, racist. ... after he had robbed a bank

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what did the jew say to the other jew in WWII?..... "We're both going to die."

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A man died and went to heaven. Luckily, he was resuscitated by a trained medical professional, and after a stern warning from his doctor, he lost weight, limited the cholesterol in his diet, and went on to live a very happy and healthy life.

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cool

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what did the duck with roller skates say to the camel? how are the wife and kids?

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Q: Why was the little boy late for school? A: His face was stapled to a wall.

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A man was about to be assassinated. The assassin said "do you have any last wishes? The man said he wished that a meteor would fly down and kill the assassin. A meteor actually did come down but that was predicted years back. The meteor fell on the assassin and killed him, the man, and any living thing aboveground on Earth.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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