How do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open it up and stick him in. How do you put a giraffe in a fridge? Take out the elephant and put in the giraffe.

What's worse than getting a parking ticket? Getting Cancer.

Why was the black man pulled over on his way to KFC? Because he ran a red light.

Do you know what hurts? An abortion.

Roses are gray, violets are blue; I'm red-green colorblind so I occasionally have difficulty seeing most shades of red or green.

In order to find a woman, you need time and money. Woman=Time&Money The longer you spend at work, the more money you get. Time=Money Money is the root of most problems in the world today. Money=Problems Therefore Women=Problems

Guess my favourite fruit. Peach.

Mom now that I am fourteen can I get a bra now? No Harold!

How do you offend a black person? Call him a nigger.

Ross.

Q. How much Mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb? A. None, they just steal one.

What did the towel say to the other towel? Nothing, there was no topic of conversation.

What's the same between a grape and an airplane? they both have wings but the grape doesn't

how do you wake up a really old man? you dont, he's probably already dead.

Why is the dog in the driver seat? Why is there birds making you filet mignon? Why is your toe blue? I don't know the answer. Go talk to your doctor

What did the Insomniac, Dyslexic Priest do? He stayed up all night wondering if there really is a Dog.

A fish didn't walk into a bar, because fish cannot walk.

What is green, has four legs, and if it falls out of a tree and onto your head, it will kill you? A pool table.

Roses are red Violets are blue There's suppose to be a fourth line.

Male orgasm (haha bitches we've been faking it)

A man is driving the speed limit of 55 on the highway. He gets pulled over and the cop says, "Do you know how fast you were going sir?" The man replies "Well yes I was going 55, the speed limit." The cop says, "No you were going 80." The speedometers broken.

while in iraq i bought a brand new iphone from the black market...it was only $250....its was doing fantastic until i got a text...i herd a loud beeping noise and the it exploded in my pocket and now i no longer have a penis.

What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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