KNOCK KNOCK whos there Malcom i dont know any Malcom go away!

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why did the boat sink the captain drove it into a pile of sharp rocks

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra drinks a bear and leafs .....

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What's brown and sticky? A lump of shit.

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What happens if you're caught strangling a purple leprechaun? You are taken to a mental institution because you have schizophrenia

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Why was little Jimmy sad? Because his mum died.

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Knock Knock. You don't have a door.

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What's brown and sounds like a bell? An old rusted bell.

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Knock Knock Who's There Mailman Mailman who? Sir, I don't have time for this, take your mail.

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What's the difference between jumping off of a 2 story building and a 20 story building? You're more likely to die from the latter.

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Why was the black kid at school? Because he wanted to receive an education.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? 17

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A man walks into his cubicle and sits down. After a long day of work, he goes home and happens to die whilst eating dinner.

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I have a little dog. She likes being tossed high into the air. I need a new little dog as the last one was caught by a gust carrying here over the sound-dividing highway wall and dropped into traffic.

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why didn't the donkey go to the party? Because, unfortunately he did not have the required linguistic skills to communicate with the person inviting. This is obviously dependent on whether the person who invited him was a human, if it was another donkey then perhaps this would of happened. However, this is also very unlikely as donkeys do not have parties or really communicate

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What do a duck and a bicycle have in common? They both have handlebars, except for the duck!

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Why did the guy eat pizza? Because he likes pizza.

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What do u when life gives u lemons? U put them in your iced tea.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Tulips are red, Dandelions are red, I lit your garden on fire.

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So a man walks into a bar. Unfortunately, he had brittle bone disease, cracked open his skull and bled to death on the pavement.

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Yo momma's so fat that when she asked the doctor, he said she could have such bad cardiovascular problems if yo mamma keep the typical sedentary habits, wich consist in a diet with a lots of fat and sugar, the lack of physical exercise and genetical characterists which make a person get fatter more easily.

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did you hear about the argument between jamie jacob and dylan? daniel killed them all

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Whats worse the losing your 3 kids, your lovely beautiful wife, and your trusty dog, all your belongings and in a house fire while you're at work? Nothing

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Why did the jew put a parking meter on his roof.? ....So santa would have to pay to park.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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